In a very good space

The seedling of the thought first crept into my mind fleetingly one random night. I didn't process it then. Two days ago, I met with a gf for lunch and we ventured into the topic of passion in our lives, or more specifically, we questioned ourselves, What is my passion?

I shan't go into the details of our conversation (too revealing), but I can share that I may not have a perfect life, but I am exactly where I want to be right now.

And where exactly is this imperfectly perfect space?

With my family.

I've always been one close to my family. Years ago, I came back to Singapore after graduating from Perth, without a second thought of staying on to work or live there. I missed home and I wanted to come back. All through the years, I've always been close to my family. Though our relationship has its ups and downs, I've always appreciated and enjoyed being with the family - eating in, eating out, shopping, playing, laughing... I like to think that we share a special bond.

I have an extraordinary relationship with my mom, my dad is the world's cuddliest papa, my brother is a SNAG with a heart of gold, and there is the sister who, well, will always be the special baby.

I am very fortunate that the husband is one who appreciates family-time too and he joins in our family revelry. We have been married 2 years & 3 months now and with the birth of Kate, we've created our very own family. And as I continue to lead and enjoy family-time, it's all that much sweeter and sprinkled with a lot of extra now that I have my very own family.

How awesome is that!

Just like when I hit 3-0, I count my blessings that I am in a good space.

I have the husband, and I have the baby.

and then there were 3

Heart-wrenching moments

1. The night-weaning process - Saturday night
2. The little bruise on her right cheek - Sunday morning

Me, me and only me

Now, the title sounds rather narcissistic but I realise that Kate has increasingly been wanting nobody else but me. As much as I love it (and I really really do), I am a little concerned about her behaviour.

After doing some reading, I reckon she's going through a phase of separation anxiety.

Do all babies experience separation anxiety? Yes, to a certain
degree. Babies can show signs of separation anxiety from as early
as 6-7 months, but the crisis age for most babies is between 12-18 months.

Source: www.babycenter.com

A new emotional milestone of separation anxiety is beginning (at this age). This is an exciting indication that your baby is very well-connected to you - you are his 'rock' and the most important person in his whole world, so this is why he is likely to get upset as you move out of his sight or pass him to someone else to carry. Baby has not developed 'object permanence', which means that he doesn't yet understand that when you disappear you will come back again - or that you even still exist. Understandably, this can be quite unsettling for some babies and explains why they often become clingy...

Source: Sleeping like a baby, Pinky
McKay

I've heard about separation anxiety and I know it is common. I think it is a phase which she will outgrow. It doesn't help that Kate is obviously going through a lot of growth and developments - learning to crawl, stand, walk, absorbing colours and sights and sounds all around her, tasting new foods and eating more solids... and these are merely the obvious things that are tangible and known to me. There are obviously the other signs of growth and development in her fast-growing brain which are not even visible to us!

Darling Kate, you are very precious to me and as much as you love me, I love you even more. Mommy will never abandon you, leave you or not care for you. I will always be here for you, loving you, nurturing you and supporting you. Don't be anxious my dearest baby, Mommy is always there, even when you don't see me. Hugs and kisses, Mommy

More teeth & an encounter with the king

Today, we noticed that Kate's top 2 teeth are pushing their way through. How exciting!

She's in a rather cranky mood though, and it's probably a combination of discomfort she feels from the vaccination she took yesterday as well as the teeth hurting her gums as they push through.

On an entirely separate note, my little girl tasted durian for the first time today. She didn't mind it at all and tasted the durian off my finger all three times that I offered it to her.

She seems to rather enjoy it, see how she's devouring my whole finger!

Posed picture; K didn't get to eat the durian this way but this proves that she doesn't hate it!

My little social butterfly

We went for a wedding dinner last night. The husband's cousin was getting married and the family attended the lovely occasion. A week ago, I'd already known what Kate was going to wear - her pink dress from Chateau de Sable (the husband and I had bought it for her this CNY), stockings and pink shoe-socks.

I was excited to show my princess off to the relatives and I was also excited to see the other babies that were born to the extended family (there were a total of 4 babies born 3 months apart from one another in the past year).

The evening was a great success - Kate delighted everyone she met, spreading her charm to everyone who came into contact with her. She let everyone carry her, she responded by looking at them quizzically, smiling when she found something that amused her, reaching out to touch and play with other children, responding with her baby sounds when people spoke to her; and the cutest thing she did all night was clap her hands everytime she thought it appropriate to!

Sometimes it was truly appropriate as she clapped along when others clapped; but what was funny and endearing was when she clapped simply when she sensed it was right to - when the lights flickered, when the music sound levels changed, when the wedding couple marched in; it was as if she reacted when something changed/was different and that was her way of joining in. I like to think that Kate was intuitive enough to know that the night was a joyous occasion and she was in the celebratory mood too.

Papa Seah, Baby Seah and Mommy Seah

I was very proud of my baby as she shone like a star, charming everyone being the perfect little social butterfly. It was also heartwarming to see the FIL displayed extreme affection and care as he played, carried and looked after Kate.

By the end of the night, the butterfly was so tired she knocked-out and didn't even awaken when the husband and I changed her diapers and into pyjamas.

My sweet little social butterfly - she is a joy to watch and be with and I'm so proud of her.

Dear Kate

Dear Kate, you turn 9 months old today!

I remember when Papa and I were counting the weeks at the beginning, and now we have graduated to counting the months. Very soon, we'll add year to your age! I was looking through your pictures, from newborn to now, and you have grown so much.

Kate, 1 day old

I can barely remember how tiny you were then. You have grown well and steadily and about 3months ago, you were like a little meatball. Now, you have grown more in length and we can see your neck! After 7 months of very-slow growth, your hair's finally rather visible now. I'm waiting for the day that the bald patch at the back of your head is wholly covered! Your hair is slightly brown and very fine.

Kate in her terribly cute cupcake t-shirt and "styled" hair

Lately, everyone's begun to comment that you look more like Papa and I think the strongest resemblence is that of your eyes.

You are developing very well too on the movement-front. You can crawl (though you don't like it very much), and you do this very cute crawl where you shift your bum from spot-to-spot; rather than crawling on fours. It's a very cautious approach and I like to think that you are not too reckless. You love to walk and will very much prefer for us to hold your hands so you can walk assisted. You take very large steps like a person with a mission - you usually are, heading towards something that has caught your attention. I think we don't allow you to move about on your own enough, perhaps we ought to lay out the carpet more often and allow you more independant play-time.

Standing steadily, walking not-so-steadily-yet

You love to pull yourself to stand and grab everything in sight. We cannot leave you unattended anymore. Just this week, you managed to fall out of your sarong after you awoke from your nap - giving everyone a heart attack! We are grateful that you are fine and it's a lesson learnt that you are truly impossible to be left unattended anymore.

You baby-speak and it is a joy to hear you jabbering away. It's also beginning to sound like you are calling Papa now. You react to pictures and images that you fancy - waving your arms and kicking your legs when you recognise something. You seem to like bears and cats. You know how to clap your hands, do twinkle twinkle when we sing the song, kick your legs, wave.. it's such a joy to watch you pick up new things all the time. Just yesterday, you picked up "HOORAY!" where you kind of wave your arms around frantically - too cute.

I love your smile - you have a very cheeky grin and it's cute when you were toothless and cuter now that you bare your 2 front teeth.

Cheeky Kate

I love you watching your response when you recognise me. Sometimes you smile, sometimes you wave your hands about, sometimes you cry until I carry you. You make my day great (no matter what I went through at work) the moment I reach home and see you. I love cuddling you - though I'm not sure if you like it very much, You much prefer to wriggle and twist about to touch, see and absorb anything and everything! Sometimes, when you're in the mood (and not terribly distracted), you will respond when we ask you to sayang us, by leaning your head towards us to show your affection.

You love to gai gai and you demonstrated your protests very loudly when you thought that we weren't bringing you out, or when we weren't quick enough to step out of the house! When out, you'll stare in wonder at everything you see and charm everyone you meet along the way. I've handed you to many strangers who'd asked to carry you and you nearly always allow them to. You're my friendly baby.

Papa and I are trying to get you into a new sleep habit, I hope that you will adapt quickly - for your own good. You still wake up in the night crying, and I always soothe you back to sleep. It's been 9months of interrupted sleep (not counting my pregnant days) and I don't mind, as every moment with you is precious and at night, you're all mine. But in time to come, you need to learn independance and sleep through the night - I just don't know when it'd happen.

The past 9 months have been a journey of discovery, learning, happiness and tears. I wouldn't trade them for anything in the world. You bring immense joy to our lives.

Love, Mommy

A is for Apple

For a while now, Kate's been imitating sounds that we make.

She tries to whistle (courtesy of the FIL), and makes this really cute "o" with her mouth. She manages to blow air out, but no sounds.

She also says little sounds like ma, pa, la, ya... and I like to think she's calling me "mama". Just like the husband likes to hear her "call" him papa.
She also does the typical baby-talk gibber noises like "oooo" and other sounds that I cannot spell.
These are sure signs that she's trying to speak and it's delightful hearing her cute little voice.

Lately, I find that her imitation skills have sharpened slightly and she's beginning to say the "p" sound. And it seems, that my little girl is very likely uttering her first word APPLE.

It's absolutely adorable trying to get her to repeat the word proper and it is definitely a word because the sound is unlike any other gibbers she's made before.

The husband and I spent some time talking to Kate last night, saying Apple to her repeatedly. And the response, I must say, is not bad. She manages to say it properly a couple of times, but she also does the 'p' sound repeatedly.

I'm excited! Apple!

Kate does a Humpty Dumpty

It has happened. Kate didn't break her crown (thank goodness!) but she did have a fall.

No visible effects, seemingly no effects actually. She's clingy and whiney - but she's been acting up a little more the past week, and I attribute that to some discomfort from her gums/teeth. Though she is a fiesty one typically anyhow...

Anyhow. I've read up on monitoring a child after she hits her head and so far, Kate seems to be doing fine. Very normal. The next 24 hours are crucial though. Gotta keep monitoring her.

How my heart aches at the pain and shock she must have suffered when she fell. How I know this is only the beginning of many heartaches I will get (actually, this isn't the first!). I'm very grateful that she's doing fine so far, and I can only pray that my baby is always blessed and be able to pick herself up after every fall.

Mama

Kate is very clingy to me, especially at night time. It's true how children are creatures of habit (I need to develop a strategy to wean her off; but that's a different chapter altogether).

Last Saturday, I headed out for an afternoon out with my gfs. We did a movie (SATC, how appropriate) then dinner. I was out without the husband nor the baby. It felt liberating. I did miss them but I made sure that I enjoyed the time I was away from them.

When I got home, Kate was asleep but she got awakened and while she was screaming her head off, I peeped at her from outside as I didn't want to distract her. This little girl has very sharp vision and she yelled even louder (how she goes a notch louder everytime we think she's hit the max volume I don't know) when she spied me spying on her.

I had to go in and hug her (which was what I really wanted to do the moment I stepped home but I had to control myself as I didn't wish to disturb her) and she was so distressed and annoyed that she did take a while to calm down.

During that while, my parents, the sister and the husband were all in the room watching Kate have her little meltdown. And in the middle it all, she lurched for me and called out "Mama".

It has happened before, that she's blurted this out - and I know it's because she's learning how to say the likes of da, ma, pa, la, ya currently. But at that moment, when she called out for me in front of an audience - I felt very, very happy.

Clever Kate

I know the title sounds rather obnoxious, but I'm truly amazed at how K processes things in her little brain. I'm sure children, in general, are very clever as they absorb things quicker than sponge; but since this blog is dedicated to K, I'm going to brag about her clever-ness (o screw humility. I'm proud as hell of my daugher *hah)

Here are some stories of my funny little daughter.

1. Looking for the belly ring
K, as with most/all kids, like details. This applies to tiny specks of dirt on the ground, prints on anything or the likes. She's discovered my belly ring and on more than one occasion attempted to tug at it when it catches her eye. I sometimes pull my shirt over and once it's out of sight, she'd forget about it. I also sometimes use my hand to cover it - she'd then lift/push my hand away, knowing that the ring is beneath. Some nights ago, I pulled my pants higher then covered my hand over and K quickly shoved my hand away. As the pants were pulled over my belly button, she couldn't see the belly ring. She stared for a moment, obviously puzzled. She then pulled to look at my hand, turning to look at my palm. She was obviously very puzzled that the ring has disappeared and was attempting to see if it was attached to my hand! Made me giggle.

2. The forbidden zone
Ever since I scolded Kate (that first time), she has truly learnt to not pull at the wires now. I always watch to see if she ever attempts to pull at the wires again, but time and again I see that she just walks past the wires without even taking a second look! Amazing.

3. Pacifier with the mouth, not the hand
The husband started playing this game with Kate some nights ago. He'd place the non-teat side of the pacifier in his mouth; Kate will reach out with her hand to take it but he'd not let go. When she leans forward to bite the pacifier with her mouth, he will. After some tries, she knew not to bother with her hands anymore. He tried it again last night and she remembered! She went straight for the pacifier with her mouth on the first attempt! Great memory, I guess this is why the experts always say 'repeating' is essential for the child.

4. Clapping, waving, kicking, jumping and 'me'
By now, Kate can clap her hands, wave 'hello' or 'goodbye' and point to her chest when you say 'me'. She also responds to 'jump' and knows to move her legs when we say 'kick'. It's amazing how such little gestures are so simple yet seem like such huge milestones when our child does it. Truly makes me appreciate the little things.

5. She knows
Her level of understanding of the nuances in life is fantastic - when we are going out, she'll want to follow. When we're eating and she's sitting in the high chair, she'll play. But the moment we are done eating (when any person stands up), she'll demand to be carried. When we try to let her take the pacifier, she'll throw it away when she's not in the mood for it. When her food is being prepared, she'll kick her legs in excitement and anticipation. When she sees her milk, she'd reach out for it. When she is thirsty, she'll drink water from her sippy cup; when she isn't thirsty but is offered to drink, she'll sip only to store water in her mouth and spew it out. The child is learning all the time.

There are too many things to record down and these are merely some that I remember off the top of my head.

I'm definitely enjoying every moment of motherhood, and constantly amazed at how much love my heart can hold for my daughter - surely it must burst at the 'much-ness'! I love how she teaches me things that I never knew or thought about, I am thankful of her constant clever-ness and developments. Kate makes me so happy and is the love of my life and every day, I feel grateful to be blessed with her.

Cirque de Kate

I just spent an hour trying to put Kate to sleep. For 2 nights now, she's so tired she conks out before 8pm, only to wake up 30-45mins later, refreshed from her nap.

I'll leave the room dimmed with only the night lights on, and lay still on the bed with her. I'll try to feed her (to try to cheat her to go to sleep) but if she doesn't want to sleep, well, she wouldn't.

And with her learning to crawl and stand, that's all she wants to do - practise! It's so adorable watching her try and get frustrated, rolling around; talking to herself and playing. I only dread the day she'd knock her head - hard.
So far, she's had a tiny accident resulting in a mild bruise on her right cheek. She's also knocked her head lightly on several occasions, and fallen over unscathed on some. I know it's inevitable with this learning progression, but I'm not looking forward to the repurcussions. I can only console myself that 1/ it's a phase and she's gotta learn and 2/ kids are resilient and hardier than we imagine.

So my dear baby was crawling around the bed, sucking her toes, kicking her feet, pulling herself to stand, falling on her butt... at some point I remember thinking that I'm the sole audience to this private acrobatics show! Hah.

What's endearing is that she'd never crawl far from the length of my body. She'd sometimes throw herself at my chest or head - which I like to think is her way of showing me affection. It just hurts though, sometimes when she hits right on my head, collarbone or hipbone.

Eventually, after an hour, she tired and in the last moments before she slept, her hands were still moving. That's my fidgety baby!

Just like old times

The MIL went on a week-long holiday with the FIL. It's a well-deserved break for her, and me! I took time off from work to be with Kate, all day long. Oh, the joy!

Here's a snapshot of our days out.

Monday at Orchard: Lunch @ Xiaolongbao, followed by sinful desserts at M-Pantry.

Lunch with Poo

Kate & Finn (& Mr Panda - it's so big I can't stop feeling like there are 3 faces in the pic!)

Misha & Sam who will be embarking on a new journey in London very soon. Very glad to have caught up before they did.

Tuesday at Jurong Point: Lunch at noodle place then an afternoon of hanging out with the SIL and her bubba.

What's K looking at? (See how she's tip-toeing? So cute!)

Kate & Lukas hang out

There are a lot more photos but I'm developing a heart attack trying to load and re-load the pictures (dumb site fault); and since I don't wish to die an early death whilst blogging about joyous experiences (o the irony), I shall just continue the rest of the entry in words.

Before our adventure-packed Monday & Tuesday, our weekend was pretty decent with the husband and I spending most of our time with K - we ate out, walked about town and despite a failed attempt for the husband and I to go exercise (woe to rain), we made up with a short swim for Kate. It was more time spent together than real exercise for us, of course but it was still an experience and I think K enjoyed herself.

Wednesday was spent with no plans, so Kate and I spent our whole day together at home. There was no one at home at all except for her and I and it was truly time on our own. We headed down to the shops a couple of times to replenish on food, and we also made 2 trips to the playground. I cooked for K for the first time! Pretty embarrassing but I burnt the potatos and carrots on my first attempt (wasn't watching the water levels properly); and I think our little missy doesn't fancy potato very much. The highlight of the day has gotta be K doing a mega-poop which spilt out of her nappy! Onto me! Solved that mess by taking a shower, again for the first time, with K.

May seem like pretty routine stuff, but that's what I love about it all. The fact that I'm with Kate all day long, and it's just like the good old days when I was on maternity leave.

Bliss.

Kate goes to the zoo

Two Sundays ago, the husband and I brought Kate to the zoo. It was her first trip to the zoo! I was very excited and very grateful that the weather was sunny (would have been terrible if it rained!). We were there to attend Matty's 1st birthday party.

Kate and birthday boy, Matty

After the guests were gathered, we headed to the tram catered for our private party.

Kate on the tram

The tram whizzed by most animals so it was abit difficult to see the animals since the tram didn't stop. So I doubt Kate saw any animals that were still and blended into the background, such as the hippopotamus. I hope she saw the giraffe (as it was big), but she definitely saw some monkeys (jumping around) and the white tiger (swimming).

The tram did a stop-over and we headed for an enclosed habitat where animals were allowed to roam free. It was rather fun seeing all the animals up-close! We spotted spiders, bats, a sort of furry monkey, mousedeer, bla ue-coloured fowl (have no idea what that's called)...

Upclose with nature

My daddy tried to feed me to this upside down animal

As part of the tour, we got the chance to go "behind the scenes" where the keepers hang out and got to meet some creepy crawlies! I didn't particularly fancy it but it was a nice experience as their shack isn't open to public. I love the innocence of children - Kate had no fear, since she had no idea what worms were!

Stare-down

*SQUEAL (that was me hah!)

After the stopover, we continued the second part of the tram ride before being dropped off at the Forest Lodge where lunch was served.

Family shot - love their animal chairs

At the indoor-playground

We left after lunch and Kate had gone without sleep since she woke up at 10am that morning! On the way out though, shortly after we left the tiger enclosure, she dozed off rather quickly.

The Seahs at the Singapore Zoo

I'll like to think that Kate enjoyed her day out in the sun, and I wonder if perhaps, in her little brain she had wondered "what's up with the funky smells?" Heh.

I look forward to more visits to the zoo with Kate, where she'll be able to appreciate everything more.

Kate's fan from US of A

Pretty Elise

Elise looking at Kate's picture

This is Elise, the gorgeous little precious of Wai.

Wai is one of the oldest (in terms of length of time since we've known each other) friends I have, and we both had a baby within 6 weeks of each other. She's living in USA now with her little family and I think that's too far away.

I'm so looking forward to the day I get to reunite with my girl, and our girls get to meet face-to-face.