Jake turns 7-months

My little prince who turned 7 months old yesterday.

Dear Jake

Some say that they are about to "strike lottery" when they see your smile - heh, indeed you're mostly "meh" or "cool".

You have brought joy to our lives. I love how your face lights up when you see people that you recognise - so far, they are the family who you see more frequently - yeye, nainai, Papa, me... and what really makes me smile is how you respond to your sister.

It is extremely heartwarming to watch you respond excitedly to her. I also think that it is a great start to the sibling relationship I want you two to have - to play with each other, to be there for each other, to love each other.

7 months... gosh, I can't believe how quickly time has flown by. Soon, we'll be planning for your first birthday!

Thank you so much for being the little imp that you are. Your cheeky personality is beginning to show more and I anticipate how much more loud the household will be with you developing more each day. Such joy!

I love you little boy, I love your smiley, expressive eyes; I love your rare, precious smiles; I love how you *thump* your strong arms about and I love how you are a strong character (need to train you to control your anger and use it right though). I just love you with all my heart and I feel so blessed to be able to see you every day, to watch that cheeky little face light up.

Love love love, Mommy

And she makes it all better again

My entry earlier in the day was triggered after a massive bout of mommy guilt. Kate was misbehaving, being a child, throwing a tantrum and I lost it. Then felt terribly guilty about it afterwards. Which explained my emo state then.

So the day passed and the last activity we did at night time was craft. I cut shapes, and she pasted them onto a piece of paper.

Innocuous enough, when suddenly, out of the blue, this little angel says, "Mommy, I love you very much." As if it was the most natural thing to say, and she went on with her end of the craft, not missing a beat.

And right there, that very moment, is what makes parenting all worth while. Despite the pain, the angst, the fatigue, the stress, the worries... my baby girl loves me and despite it all, I know that I love her with all my heart and more and nothing will ever change that.

Dear Kate,

I love you too. I will always love you. Thank you for being the beautiful person that you are. I have much to improve on in the patience category, I'll keep trying.

Love, Mommy

Losing it

I don't want to sound like a self-pitying woman (ok, I admit it. I am wanting some love and comfort and encouragement) but it's so frigging difficult being a working mother. When I'm apart from my kids, I think of them. When I'm with them, I'm clearing my work emails. I mean, seriously. This just makes me neither here nor there, does it?! It's a problem - we're doing too much at one time and it compromises the now. I read off a friend's blog about being in the NOW. I need to learn to achieve that.

SIGH. 

So it was quite timely that I chanced upon this article recently.

Not your superwoman

It seems like we're expected to pop out a baby, immediately lose all the weight, jog the Bugaboo stroller into the workplace and start at your desk in five-inch heels. If not, you've somehow failed to live up to your potential.
(Yes, the Jolie in above paragraph refers to the her in Brangalina)

When I was at work, all I could think about were my children and when I was at home I was thinkig about and performing all the deliverables for work. (Sorry, can't rotate the pic)

These are really difficult times filled with questionable motives (with reference to straddling work and not spending enough time with her kids)

Would I regret that I didn't get that brief in on time - or would I regret not spending time with my son? That helps me focus on what's important when I get confused.

I don't think I'll be an awesome stay-home Mom. I used to think I wanted to do that. And some parts of me still want to. But reality of financial constraints and the experience of staying home with two kids have honestly made it impossible for me to embrace it. Yes, I should be able to do it if I really wanted to, but do I want to anymore? I don't know. I'm losing control of my self-confidence when things don't go my way and what am I up against? An infant yelling at me because he's over-tired or irritable due to aching gums. A toddler testing my patience time and again when she throws tantrums for no apparent reason. And the cherry on top of the cake is me, retaliating to these situations not in motherly patience, but straggled yells back with blood vessels close to popping; it leaves a sad, disgusting after-taste when I know it's me who cannot control myself. I'm the adult in this equation, no?

You who mean the world to me, and presses all the right/wrong buttons that makes me go crazy

You who mean the world to me, who wants nothing more than my whole love. I will try my best dear Kate, I am trying. I will try harder because there's nothing more important to me than you and your brother and I want you to be happy more than you're sad. I'm sorry for the times I've lost it. I'm sorry for the times I've not been there. I'm sorry for the bad moments that you remember and I wish that love can triumph over and make you forget the bad. I love you so much, my darling baby Kate, let's get this right together. I will. 

Scenes from our home

Unknowingly, it's been two months since my last SFOH update. *gasp!
How quickly time flies... and scarily we are at the tail end of September, nearly entering the final quarter of the year. As the sister will say, zomg?!

There's been some glitch in the photo upload system though so I'm guessing there are pics missing though it's too hard to track by now.  I think it's much better to update than not so here goes! (it's a lot)

Yup. She's definitely a kim gek in the making. (Note: kim geks are what my alma mater called us. Though I'm not sure how many SCGS girls are really the demure, sophisticated lady within.)

Indulgent brunch - home-made

The day I brought Jake out to the doc's for his vaccination

Her favourite "orh lu lu bao bao" 

Kate's current obsessions - pink & fairy/princesses. 

Date night with the husband. We visited this chinese restaurant where they served panda desserts in honour of our new Chinese animal pals who just joined the Singapore Zoo.

Pic update from the brother: Spot Kate (Note: pic updates are when I'm not with them.)

The day Jake had his hair cut. Check out that smirky face.

K discovers the camera in reverse

Photo credit: Kate Seah

Supper. Kate's a natural at making faces for the camera

My handsome boy

I snipped her fringe

Mister Maker - Kate and I get hands-on with her birthday toy

Pic update from the sister: my babies

HAHA this one cracks me up. Pic update from the husband.

Kate after her 3rd-year check-up at the polyclinic. My girl is developing well. And one common thing that we observe as well as hear people comment, is her advanced vocabulary and talent in speech. 

My brave little boy who cried for only 2 seconds after his vaccination last week. His mood was pretty volatile and mighty cranky afterwards though.

This, is a bowl of beancurd. Looks normal? Yea, except that it was the best thing I ate these few days.  I went for my wisdom tooth extraction last Friday (only a month after my last dental check-up cos work was sofriggingbusy) and it's been nothing but painful since. While the pain is more bearable by now, it's still overall quite an unpleasant experience. What tops the cake is that I'm not on painkillers, merely paracetomal because that's the only medicine that's "safe" for lactating Moms. Ouch. 

Jake's into clapping his hands these couple of days. Check out his nonchalant-I'm-too-cool face. Heh. That's the good part about developments. The not-so-good bit is because of him being so stimulated, he was up at 4.30am till 6.30am today. Not fun. 

Two babies in a tub. Rub-a-dub-dub. I totally love how they interact with each other. 

Spot Kate. Not sure where she's crawling towards. 

Playtime. Key reason why this pic warrants airtime is because Kate came up with the idea of playing "drums" entirely on her own! We've had those tins sitting around for a while, waiting to be used. And today, she just brought them out and asked me very politely "Mommy, these are my drums. Can I take chopsticks please?" How could I say no?

Finally, another on Jake's developments. He's been leopard crawling for a while now and getting better at it. I noticed he's beginning to lean forward and I've seen him rock his bum (while on his fours) for a split second. Maybe he's ready to begin to crawl proper!

And that's the end of this entry. I'm on home leave this week due to my aching jaw so I really want to do as much as I can for myself, my kids and my house. I hope I won't take another two months to update our lives in general in this series.

My little ball of meh

Like a boss!

I really like this picture of Jake - totally cracks me up! *snigger

So he's 6.5months old now, just as his sister turned three. I want to write to jot down random things about him as he progresses, before I forget them all.

He's really good at "walking" about the house now, with his walker. He was not so steady initially, though he could navigate himself about quite well. By now, though, he's a good driver already and can move to where he wants to. He's also grown taller, so we've had to adjust the walker higher so that he can stretch his legs out. I worry that he'll knock his head/clip his fingers between the walker and furniture though, cos he'd just bang right into things cos he can't control his strength proper. Hmm, now what can I do about that?

His face lights up when he smiles

 He's also graduated to a high chair now. It's so much more convenient when we eat out now! We just request for two high chairs when we're dining and I prepare some baby Rusks for him. Then it's quite easy to let him play with his fingers/biscuits and we all have a pretty decent meal.

Look at me, all grown up in my own seat!

 Jake's on a regular cereal-for-breakfast diet so far (say, about 2 weeks?) He eats it, but doesn't seem to enjoy it excessively so. When he's in a bad mood, he'd much rather down his milk. This is quite a difference between Kate and him. Kate used to love everything that we fed her! So far, I've let Jake try banana and potato - these are his clear favourites. He's also tried mash fish with soggy rice, apple which he's ok with but not so enthusiastic about. He does look so longingly at us when we eat though, so I cannot figure out if he is just a little Mr Busybody, or if he's just more selective with his palate (probably both).

He is very strong and getting better at moving himself along in his leopard crawl style. When he sets his sight on something that he wants, he will head towards it with determination and speed. However, usually, he's quite happy to just chill.

Stoning

With him getting stronger, we can also let him sit on his own. He's not 100% stable yet, sometime veering to a side/forward when he loses his balance, but he's so cute and it's yet another sign of his physical capability.

Sitting on his own

Finally, I'm happy to share that this boy is finally getting some sleep in the night! Sure, he still wakes up a couple of times, but he's much better now. Maybe it's because he's crossed the 6-month mark, maybe it's cos I changed my style of feeding him (side-by-side), maybe ... whatever! I don't care really, but it's so great that we both get to sleep properly for longer stretches! His pattern now is along the lines of going to bed by 8pm, waking up for a feed at about 12-1am, then fusses about 3/4am, and wakes up about 6/7am. Yayness! Progress, people! Progress!

It's so much fun watching him grow up and interact. I totally turn to mush when I smile at him and have him return my smile. Such precious moments that really make everything (the pain, the fatigue, the frustrations) all (nearly) worthwhile.

Dear Jake,

I love watching you grow each day. I hope you know that we all love you deeply and even though your sister is quite a fussypot at times, she does love you too. It thrills me to no end that you reciprocate this affection; and having you smile at me in recognition is one of the best feelings in the world.

Keep growing well, my dear boy. I love you so much.

 Love, Mommy

Painting green

With my day off to spend with Kate, I took the opportunity to do the second set of painting with her (for project names-on-door). 

Letters K, A & J

Only another round to go and we're done! Quite looking forward to the finished product.

With the leftover paint, Kate decided she didn't want to do hand-painting. Instead, she painted this:

No idea what it is? Well, I was as clueless. Until she did the big unveil:

"IT'S A CHICKEN!" she exclaimed with the enthusiasm of a newly-minted three-year-old.

Ahhh, I see (actually I don't. But I'm not going to quell her enthusiasm! Chickens they are!)

Kate turns 3

喜

怒

哀

乐

You know, this pretty much sums up life with kids. And it's been nothing short of the best of the bests and worst of the worsts with kids. I cannot believe that it's been 3 years since I birthed this little princess of mine!

With the party done the day before, the husband and I were free to spend her actual birthday (17 September 2012) with her, however we wanted to. I must admit that the day turned out nothing like what we'd originally planned, but I think what matters most is that we were altogether, happy family!

Nothing beats getting a present first thing on your birthday morning

The colourful reveal

The rainbow bear as big as Kate

Getting acquainted

Food for Thought, Botanical Gardens. My two little monkeys dressed in their matching outfits (souvenirs from Thailand).

Such a joy! (cheeky)

She made a new friend and borrowed his scooter to play around with.

Not missing out on the fun

6.5months - sitting unassisted

Kate and her friend

Nothing beats watching her have fun

She was joined by more friends

Winding down - she kicked a fuss when we were leaving, but we distracted her with the fact that we would be buying her her birthday cake

Kate's birthday, 17 September 2012

This little-big girl insisted on cutting the cake by herself

Dear princess Kate,  

You are a beautiful girl and I hope you enjoyed yourself on your special day. I cannot emphasize how much you mean to me and how much we love you, I hope you will feel the love and grow up to be a secure, confident, happy, sensible and loving girl. 

Loving you always and more each day (even when you're naughty!)

Mommy