at the very beginning

Dear Kate,

Mommy didn't know that she was pregnant with you at all. I didn't think I was and on a sudden whim, I went to buy a pregnancy test kit (a really cheap one) after I bugged Aunty Angelyn enough so much that she told Mommy to 'just go test'. Because the kit was so cheap, I kinda botched the job and could NOT believe my eyes when the test was positive. I told Aunty Evelyn about it and she told Mommy to go to the doctor for a test. Funnily, the doctor's test was not affirmative and the doctor said that perhaps, it was still very initial stages.

That evening, Mommy rang up Aunty Tanny (who's in Ireland) and told her all about my silly episodes through the day. Aunty Tanny was very very excited and Mommy could not stop giggling. I kept my day's excitement to myself.. because I didn't want to disappoint Daddy in case the results were negative. I had prepared another test kit for the next morning. Daddy and Mommy had been trying to conceive for a whole year already and on many occasions, we'd tested and Daddy, especially, was very nervous and we yearned to have you.

I had very nervous, jumpy sleep that night and it felt very strange to keep a secret from Daddy. We never keep secrets from each other. Our relationship is based on open communication and trust.

At the break of down, I crept awake to test and I cannot describe the feeling. I was nervous, so much so that my fingers were actually shaking! The reliable pregnancy test kit came out positive - again. I was stunned, smiling and totally bursting with emotions. I rushed back to the room and slipped into bed with Daddy. Daddy is a sleep-in sleeper (not much of an early riser except for work. He's very responsible) and he was very annoyed (nearly angry) when I spoke to him "baby. *poke.... baby! *poke poke" He looked at me with a furrowed forehead and I quickly jumped to whisper "I think I'm pregnant"..... I had to repeat myself but I believe he woke up nearly immediately after that. We were very very happy to see the + sign on the test kit.

You are truly a most amazing thing.. a miracle and the love product of Daddy and I. I think, unknowingly, at that point in time, we already loved you.

Love, Mommy