Me time

Kate's less than a week shy of 8-months old and on a special-drive-to-work with the husband today (special because we don't normally get to spend mornings together as we usually head in different directions at different times), I said to the husband "I think I'm ready to do my own thing on weekdays."

He didn't get it initially.

I had to explain to him that ever since I've become a mother, I've never had the urge to want to do my own thing, especially on weekday nights. Sure, I've wanted to go for facials, I wanted to meet my friends, I wanted to go swimming - but these things that I want to do I've always ensured to schedule them on weekends or on my days off - and they usually are in the day time. I can count the number of times I've gone off to do my own thing at night - it's mostly date nights with the husband, or work affairs. I've not scheduled dinners with friends, doing the after-work catch-up which I used to do.

I think it's healthy to do my own thing and they are important as they keep me happy, but truth is I never really wanted to as I do prefer to come home to spend time with Kate. I still largely prefer to devote most of my time to her, so I never resent my time away from other things I wish to do. I just need little pockets of time and a few preferred activities that will keep me satisfied.

I've never wanted to be anywhere else than with Kate when I am with her, so I never resent my duties, ever. I love her so much that the sacrifices all come pretty naturally. I'm thankful that I feel this way because I wouldn't want it any other way. But with this realisation shared with the husband, I think I'm ready to be more independant, to become a little more of me.