Smelling the roses

I have been under tremendous stress - what with the childbirth, going through un-fun confinement, having to cope with lack of sleep, handling the children, emotional distress and uncertainty, the damn hormones... A lot of it is stress I lay on myself. I know it isn't crucial to do the laundry or pick up mess around the house; the children and their needs come first. But in the midst of the daily grind, I forget - I get so caught up with the to-dos that I'm always frazzled. "I have to do this/ plan for that" though the truth is I do not. I need to stop to breathe and take a chill pill. I need to prioritise and not run blindly and throw myself against the wall countless times.

It is not easy to relax (I'm OCD like that) and I hope to have more fun moments; moments that make it all worthwhile so that I enjoy the whole process. It's not easy all that I am juggling, but there have been some of these jackpot moments. I have played with Kate, did craft with her, read to her leisurely. I enjoy carrying Jake against my body, savouring his smell and looking at his little round face with punky hair. It is 4am and I drag myself out of bed half-dazed, and end up awake after feeding my son and speaking to him softly while changing his diaper. I hear Kate laugh and say "mommy carry" and I hold her in my arms, hugging my first-born who means the world to me. I watch Jake sleeping, listening to his stuffy-nosed breathing and marvel at his growth the past six weeks.

This is to remind myself that this is all a process, that it will pass; a test of my patience and sanity, a test for the husband and I, a chance for us to love each other more, an important time for me to grow, an experience I have to go through (one day I will look back at this period with pride - now I just have to bite the bullet and soldier on).

Got to smell the roses.

Not-so-funny but funny

Right now, both kids are asleep. At the same time.

O.M.(F.)G.

So I'm tip-toeing around the house trying not to wake them up, so much so that I nearly did not wanna flush after going for a pee. HA. HA. HA.

I did la.

Scenes from our home

1 April - Kate kisses Jake "good morning"

2 April: The day we met a parrot at the market. That was the first time I looked after Kate and Jake by myself. *sweats I had to sling one and push the other in the pram. Call me the-woman-with-the-broken-back. Or superwoman.

A rare picture of the boys together

Tummy time

Enjoying Jake

Sleeping in the pram. It was very tough for us to leave Kate in the pram (she'd yell her lungs out) and it was barely used for the first year of her life. So it's with some amazement that I see Jake enjoying sleeping in there *yayness

Kate shares her Barney sticker with didi. I forgot about it and broke out in smile seeing it after dinner.

Sunday fun at the Hub: Kate pretend-rides the bat-cycle. She found great joy in making that silly face.

A repeat performance of that face, supermarket shopping

Hanging out at the Grandparents'

9 April: Jake is 6 weeks old. Pic was taken at his birth-time - or so I thought. After snapping it, I realised I was an hour late. No turning the time back for the right moment-shot!

Jake with yeye. I think this is the first shot of them two together.

Hanging at home. I ask Kate to "protect didi from falling off" (he can't roll over yet, but he's beginning to rotate so we ain't taking chances)

Spoils for Kate, air-flown from London. A beautiful playsuit and a little cardi. Thanks yiyi and Uncle Jon!

Spoils for me: A baby bag (apparently my recycle bag was too orbs.) Great, thoughtful and useful gift. Thank you sister & the bf!

Spoils for Jake: pyjamas - my favourite is the one on top - the animals are soo cute! Thanks yiyi and Uncle Jon!

Kate's would-be passport picture - except that we couldn't do an online application so this picture wasn't used. Why do we need a passport? Tee hee hee - I'll share more soon if it happens (please do *prays hard)

6 weeks :)

Happy 6-weeks my boy! Last night, I told Papa that it was exactly 6weeks ago that I was feeling contractions and we'd made our way to the hospital and it's just about right now that we first welcomed you into our world. 6 weeks later, you've grown well and hit the 5kg mark. And it's taken us this long for me to capture a smiling shot of you! More please, my darling. You look so cute when you do and I can't wait for you to show us more of your already-quite-clear character. You have started cooing & it's such a joy to hear that beautiful sound! You are a lovely baby and I love you so much, forever! Muacks!

PS: And this is also the day we introduced the dummy to you. Just for record's sake.

Same, but different

I know they are siblings and it's no surprise that they resemble each other, but I find it terribly amusing to see the same yet different faces of the two. This is the 2nd same, but different entry, the first is here. I can't help it - when I see a particular expression of Jake's, I get a flashback and remember quite vividly that same face of Kate's! Not sure how long I can keep this up for, piecing pics of them both together; but it's fun to do and I hope I keep it up for a while. It's nice to remember how Kate was before (a lot more animated that's for sure!) and to feel a bolt of shock that hey! I have two children! May sound a bit odd when I say that (of course you do, duh, you may think) but I think mommies out there will get what I mean. I bet sometimes, you still feel disbelief/amazement that you are a mom!

Enjoy the pics!

Yawning Kate, 0-3 months, 2009

Yawning Jake, 0-3 months, 2012

Boxing Kate, 0-3 months, 2009

Boxing Jake, 0-3 months, 2012

o_O Kate, 0-3months, 2009

O_o Jake, 0-3months, 2012

Going gaigai

After the whole month of being confined with me stepping out of the house only for doctor visits, I planned for half a day of gaigai last Friday. It may have been slightly tiring with three appointments lined up from lunch to tea to dinner, but I wanted to capitalise my being out and it was quite a nice break from my confinement-everyday-is-same-day routine.

I didn't snap much pics that day - it's kinda tricky to do so when you have a toddler running amok (even if I had Mom with me); but the afternoon started with a great lunch with Mom and friends (Kate, Jake and I were free-loaders who crashed the lunch), followed by tea with a girlfriend.

Jake in his new onesie from Uncle Jon. Pic taken in the nappy-changing room at Raffles City; post-lunch.

And this is the best pic I have of Kate taken at the same window period. She was climbing over the mini cubicle walls at the changing area =_=

Yummilicious triple chocolate cheese cake! A heavenly treat eaten leisurely (in-between rocking and feeding Jake) and a great session of chit-chat with a gf.

The day ended with my third appointment for the day - dinner with the bestie. It was nice to catch up with her, to offload what's weighing on my mind, to just hang out with no interruptions. Good friends are really gems.

Saturday: we had an evening planned for the Seah cousins to spend time together. Here's them at Jacob Ballas - due to time constraint, the water play area was pretty much all they got to do that day.

For someone who doesn't fancy water on her face, Kate was having a rockin' good time

Absolutely love this shot of them!

Seeing how they had so much (but not-enough) fun, I think it warrants another trip there soon! The evening ended with pizza - the girls' favourite food.

It's so nice to be able to do normal things, even if they are peppered with diaper changes and feeds; but being a more-seasoned parent this time round, I'm pretty much buay pai seh about stares when the child(ren) fuss. And it's also great that we can bring some fun to Kate's life again - to treat her to her favourite food and see her laugh and play. With me being cooped up at home all last month, it was rough on her too with limited outings (since the husband was also very busy) and I hope she remembers the fun bits in her life.

Kate and school

I've shared before how Kate's been sick since she's gone to childcare. She was on medication for a solid two months (minus a day - the first day of school). When Jake was born, we couldn't afford for her to pass anything to zero-immune-system Jake and it was not a probability that she may be sick - she will definitely be. It also didn't help that the HFMD epidemic struck at about the same time & that was very worrying. The third thing that the husband said was "she needs a break from medication" - these factors made it quite easy for us to keep Kate home for the month of March. The plan was for her to rest, for Jake to have some immunity built up and we'll start the routine all over. It really worked because two days after she stayed home, she was as healthy as can be! Not a coincidence, this equation of school = sick.

Last week (after 4weeks of a healthy girl), we let Kate return to school. After the first day, she had a sniffly nose. Not that noticeable and when I raised it to the husband and Mother, they didn't seem to think it was a problem. After the second day, her symptoms became more pronounced and her temperature also crept up slightly. She didn't go back for the third day. Nor will she a fourth.

I'm not entirely sure if the decision is right, nor whether it's the best thing to do, but it's done. We have decided to pull Kate out of school. This school at least - while I have no issues nor complaints about the school's curriculum and teachers, the high hit rate of Kate being ill is too much to bear. Now, I have to find Kate a new childcare option. One that is preferably non-air conditioned since we think that the poor air ventilation in a wholly air-conditioned school is a major contributing factor to Kate falling ill. There really is no guarantee that Kate will not fall ill at a new place but before I jump the gun worrying about that, I'm pretty stressed about finding a vacancy in any other childcare.

I'm trying not to think about the monetary losses made in this school investment - uniforms, fees etc; but I guess there's no other way about it and there's really no point in me thinking about this. Sigh.

To end off, here's sharing Kate and her craft on the (her) last day of school. There was a parent session organised by the school which basically was parents joining their children at school to do some craft. The theme was family and we were given simple materials to create our own family.

Kate and I

Kate putting beads on the head (don't as me why - I was just happy that she was involved in some way!)

Kate and I with the finished product

Our family of four - Papa, Mommy, Kate and Jake

It's really painful to watch your child suffer and till today (4 days later), Kate's still unwell and she is on meds to manage the runny nose and cough (I'm so stressed that she will pass something to Jake). So in a way, I guess ending school with a session where I was involved in craft with Kate was quite a nice touch. I just wish it wasn't so darn difficult, really.