I gave up sleeping when Kate fell asleep, so here I am. I only have a 15-hour day tomorrow. No sweat (yeah right). I'm already imagining what my lunch is going to be, how I'm going to best utilize my spare pockets of time between where I can find them, and I suddenly thought of my conversation with some colleagues earlier today.
She's a young, ambitious one who is quite a joy. She is not as young, and we get along very well as I suspect we have the same odd sense of humor. Separately, I spoke with them about work, about character, about different stages of life, and I cannot help but think that I have plenty to be thankful for. I think we can never ever be too thankful of what we have.
I'm definitely in a better place today, than I was years ago. And I always think that the husband played a big part in my life plan. After we got together, I became a lot saner (over time), I was then able to concentrate on developing my character through tough training in my last job, and through my experience of being a Mom the past 2 years - all that has made me the person I am today. My teens were terribly turbulent, with me going through self-discovery in the most extreme manners. I was emotionally unstable (not mad, just... dynamic), constantly seeking for thrills (some bad, some not so bad), always wanting more fun and searching for that balance which I never knew I sought. Life then was a constant whirlwind with me partying, making friends, having laughs, loving hard, fighting hard, drinking hard - everything was about fun, and about me. I was so selfish.
Today, I've learnt to let go when it doesn't really matter. I've learnt to be more suave in my decision-making process. I've learnt that growing up doesn't stop. The husband shared Maslow's hierarchy of needs; and say that a huge percentage (I forget the number) get stuck at the level of seeking material needs. I don't think I'm all past it, but I'm more self-aware which to me, is all important. Today, I am contented.
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