Surprises from my little man - and the strength he gives me

#1
Last week, in the last week of school holidays, the mother brought the princess out for some fun and the father brought the boy to the movies. I'm ever so thankful to my parents for sharing their precious time with my children, building memories that will forever etch in their minds.

The movie the boys watched was "Finding Dory" - a movie that everyone who's watched it has only raved of how good it is. What struck out to me of the movie outing was the father, sharing with me that the boy was nearly in tears during a touching scene in the movie. I questioned him if he cried because he was happy or sad, and he replied "happy".

My observation is that this little boy is quite a sensitive soul, and he is reached/going through an emotional growth with more understanding of a complex emotion like feeling touched - in this case, he seems to understand that his tears were not because he was sad, but he probably does not understand "touched" per se; but he could express he was happy that Dory was reunited with his family.

#2
On Saturdays, I drop the boy off at his class. During this 2 hours, I sneak off to the gym for some me-time. It's a good use of our time and I have been doing this on-off for several occasions.

Last Saturday, I did this routine and when I picked the boy up, we were chatting idly in the car when this happened.

J: (mumble) Jim good?
Me: Who?
J: your Jim good?
Me: Who is Jim?
J: nooo, GYM! Is your gym good?

...

I was startled for a moment as 2 things struck me.
1) This little boy is listening and aware of my schedule - I do not remember explicitly telling him that I am going to exercise, and I may have. Though it isn't hard to derive this as I am always dressed in work-out gear which he would recognise seeing that he sees me exercising often enough.

2) He's cognizant to ask after me
This really makes my heart melt because why will this little person be keen to know how I am? Such understanding from this 4.5yo amazes me.

As a follow-up, I asked him (was it yesterday?) why he would even ask how my gym session was, to which he replied, "so I can understand!"

#3
This happened just moments ago as I was putting him to bed. I commute with the girl to school (new routine) and this translates into us spending more time each day (additional 45minutes), and it also means that I barely see the boy as I step out of home before he awakens. For the past 2 nights, I have spent some extra time with him to cuddle, and to read him an extra book (he does get to sleep in a bit more than the girl so I shoo her off to bed quicker).

This evening, I laid down beside him for a few moments upon his request, and as I laid down, I said "let's chat for 5 minutes before I go out to do my work". To which his response was "no, you tell me about your work."

Me: ok... mommy has been quite stressed lately.
J: What is stressed?
Me: mmmm, I have been quite worried about my work. Stressed means that I am worried.
J: Why?
Me: (trying to explain simply) because there are a lot of things to think about and I worry what my colleagues will think
J: Who are the colleagues?
Me: The people in my office (pause). Anyway let's talk about (I then find a random matter to speak of - exactly what I cannot recall now)...

I then notice that he is very quiet and I sit up to look at him.

I see that he has tears in his eyes. As I look at his sweet, handsome face, his face crumples and he starts to cry.

What follows is a session of tight hugs and me assuring him that I was not that worried, nor does he have to worry about me. After distracting him with talk of our holiday to Perth, racing cars and tractors, of toys and favourite foods... I manage to leave him in a good enough state to go to bed.

This moment with him has touched me immensely. As mentioned in #1, he seems to be going through an emotional spurt with some sense of understanding, and for him to emote empathy for me, strikes an innate chord so deep and strong I cannot even justify it by putting appropriate words.

My little boy is growing up and to have such amazing moments with him honestly puts a lot of things into perspective. I am going through a muck right now and I want to have these precious moments on record, to remind me that life is more than muck and gunk. There is more for me to hold on to.

It is probably selective attention, but everything that I see or read seems to have some additional significance and I am trying very hard to pluck out the positive association so that I can get myself into a better frame of mind.

I will hold onto my family for strength.