Day 1

Today, the husband flew off for a work trip. Kate and I miss him already. I know the husband left with a heavy heart as Kate is still sick after a week. I could only assure him that he'd be updated closely on her condition and that she is a strong girl.

Our day was hectic.

After sending the husband off at 6am, I drove home half-asleep and crashed back to bed with Kate. I was awakened by the alarm (semi-ignored it) and the smell of poop (Kate's active bowels at work). Seeing that I was half hour behind schedule, I quickly got up and started the day. After feeding and washing Kate, the MIL and I set off to the PD - for the 4th time in 6 days. It has gotta be sickie-season or something, because the clinic was packed. It was only 10am and there were already 12 kids ahead of Kate in line. Doing what we usually do, we walked about the hospital, cruised up and down the escalators, had a bite at the cafe and after 1.5hours, it was our turn.

The doc sent us off for a blood test as that's the quickest way to check if the week-long stomach flu is really a bacterial infection, which will then call for antibiotics. I gotta say that despite it being terribly unpleasant to see your child being pricked to have blood drawn from her, the exercise brought me much relief as I knew that it was the best way of knowing what was really wrong with her.

Turns out Kate does have a bacterial infection - which really explains the week-long diarrhoea and pesky fever. A 5-day dose of antibiotics is dispensed and I really hope that this will be the end of her medicine consumption. After 3.5hours, we finally left the hospital for home.

The afternoon was hot and muggy, only benefit of this was that I managed to clear some laundry. I didn't bother to pack the room yet, and I know for sure that it wouldn't get messier (since the husband is not around heh)

It breaks my heart to see how Kate resists the medicine that she's got to consume. Satchet powder, liquids in various rainbow-colours, I truly hope it is the last stretch of her medicine.

It's now 11pm and Kate's asleep and I'm savouring quiet time in the room. I miss the husband and I know he misses Kate terribly. Another day tomorrow.

Dear Kate

Dear Kate,

The past 2 months have been quite a ride, a ratherly bumpy one really.

I guess the start of the ride was the point that you contracted HFMD and your first birthday party had to be downsized from XL to F, for Family-sized. All preparations for the party had to be cancelled/halted immediately. I now wonder what I'd do with the party decorations I've bought? You were your fiesty self despite the fever and spots, and safe for the occasional cries during milk-time - where I guessed your ulcers were causing you discomfort and pain - you were a trouper.

That's my girl - playful despite being spotty

You recovered within the expected period of 7 days. You probably don't appreciate it fully - yet - but someday, I hope you feel the love watching the exceptional video that Papa created for your birthday. I honestly think it is a super present; very meaningful & priceless.

I was then hit with a sick schedule at work, having to kick-start a massive campaign that saw me working late every night. For 3 weeks, I didn't reach home earlier than 10pm every single work night. I even had to go to work on a Saturday - I think you were pretty happy for the 3 hours that you were with Papa at the cafe whilst waiting for me to finish work.

At Starbucks @ Ogilvy Centre on a Saturday afternoon

Those intense weeks were tough, I spent more time at work than home, and that obviously translated into us having very little time together. I missed you then (though the truth is I miss you every time we are apart); but my consolation is that you are in good hands and is well looked after, I'm lucky that I'm able to therefore stay focused on my work and what I need to do.

There was one night where I chose to bring my work back home to do - thinking that I can at least see you before you went to bed - that kinda backfired as you refused to go to sleep when you did see me. My intention of saying goodnight to you and letting your Grandmother put you to sleep didn't materialise - you cried and insisted that I be with you, and I ended up putting you to sleep - and crashing out together as I was so tired! I was very touched that you missed me too.

Five days ago, we were hit by yet another curveball. Your temperature suddenly shot up, hitting an all-time high of 39.5 degrees celcius! This began yet another stretch of sleep-deprieved, stressful and worrisome days. It pains my heart to see you vomit (once), have diarrhea (several times, at least count it's 3 times per day) and constantly run a temperature. You seem terribly reliant on the fever medication, as the temperature creeps up everytime you approach the end of the 5th hour (meds to be taken every 6-hourly). You still detest the soy-based milk, but you're still eating well so I'm pleased. This morning was the third time in 5 days that we've visited the PD. His diagnosis is optimistic, but there seems little we can do except 1/ wait for the results of your stools that we've sent out for lab-tests; 2/ allow your body to keep fighting the bug and recover in time.

Tired baby

The recovery process is slow and cannot be rushed, and I can only pray that you become stronger than ever at the end of it. I really wish you'll get well soon, dearest Kate. It truly pains my heart that you are unwell.

You're the joy and love of our lives, darling Kate. I now understand (better) humility, unconditional love, patience; I have matured and grown up so much in the time that you are part of my life. You make me a better, stronger person. Our journey together has been short but meaningful, and I hope you feel the love that we all shower upon you.

You are growing up to be a lovely girl, very strong and obstinate at times, highly responsive and fun all the time, and an absolute doll. I love to hear you laugh, and you learn so quickly! Quick to imitate actions and sounds that you see and hear. Your vocabulary and expanded to include Chinese words now (mao mao - cat)! You are still not very clear in the pronunciation of the words, but you're trying and it's fantastic seeing your earnest attempts. My favourite word of all time has got to be Mama (of course!). You say it so sweetly, and it never fails to melt my heart. Yiyi recently took a series of pictures of you and your hair. I'm pleased that it's growing out nicely.

Bath hair

You're able to walk now, but you're still very cautious and not daring to do so on your own, preferring your hands to be held. But there's no hurry, I like to think that sometimes it's good to think and move with caution; perhaps, there is a more quiet, calm side to you afterall.

We'll always be there for you, supporting you

As you approach your 13-month mark, Papa will be away. I hope he will be safe and in 3 weeks' time, our little family will be reunited and happy again. I hope my work schedule will allow me to be with you every single night in his absence, so that we can catch up on lost time. Mommy has been going through much changes in my life too, and I hope that the decisions made are the right ones. I know everything will be well, as there is monumental support from friends, family and especially Papa. I also always have you in my mind, and you are my biggest motivation.

Cheeky, toothy baby

Happy 13-month old, my dearest baby. I love you.

Love, Mommy

The entertainer

Kate is a very popular child. She has her own fan base at the coffee shop she frequents with her grandparents. She has neighbours, family included, peering through the windows when they walk past asking for her, talking to her, or simply waving to say hello.

It really warms my heart each time I think of how much joy she brings to everyone's lifes - she tickles and amuses with her antics, never failing to 'perform' when prompted. Waving hello, clapping her hands, singing (she hums), dancing (this girl gives Beyounce a run for her money) or simply smiling.

My little girl is definitely becoming a little person on her own.

How can you resist a cheeky face like that?

Stomach flu

After a fun-packed weekend, the little one was hit by high fever Sunday night. The husband deserves a medal for being vigilant in taking her temperature religiously every hour, and feeding her medicine as deemed fit. Poor Kate also had diarrhea and vomitted a large gulp of her milk feed.

The doctor diagnosed her as having stomach flu.

A day has passed and though the 2nd night was more bearable, the fever still wouldn't go away.

We've also discovered that Kate is not as greedy as we make her out to be; in a bid to minimise further turmoil to her tummy, we'd switched to feeding her soy-milk as the regular milk contains lactose. She doesn't seem to enjoy this switch very much and cries out in frustration during feeds.

I can only imagine how hungry she must be, as she cannot drink the usual quantity she does as it may bloat her tummy.

Poor baby, get well soon.

Gifts galore

Last month, Kate contracted HFMD (bah! go away bad bugs!) and we had to cancel her first-birthday party. Despite that, friends and family have been kind and generous in giving her gifts.

Up till yesterday, nearly 3 weeks past her birthday, she still received clothes and dolls and toys as gifts for her birthday!

I'm very grateful that there are so many people who love and adore our child. She is a fortunate one.

"Papa"

The husband is away for 2 nights & I was working late last night, so the MIL helped babysit Kate till late.

She shared with me that Kate was pining for her Papa. After taking her night feed, the little one refused to sleep and cried pitifully for him. The MIL's efforts to distract her were semi-successful - although Kate was distracted with the toys in the living room, she still crawled to the room calling "Papa", as if she suddenly remembered that she was looking for him.

I find this terribly endearing and the husband is obviously pleased to hear of this.

My heart is warmed knowing that this cheeky little imp reciprocates our love and it's little things like these that make my smile and love her even more.

Precious moments

After the uber-heavy going week, my weekend started last Friday early - just the way I like it.

The sister and I met up first and we wandered around the mall doing silly girly chit-chat and catching up. Managed to get her a useful birthday gift that looks very nice on her skin colour; and a purchase for me too. The husband and K had a much more obstacle-filled and bumpy journey to meet us, but amidst salty porridge, lousy service, bad traffic and annoying road-pricing systems, the night was still pretty decent as it was time well-spent as a family.

Saturday was breakfast with Kate, followed by a trip to the doc's. Kate and I saw our doctors respectively for routine check-ups and yay, all is well. The little one weights 9.2kg and is 75cm tall. PD says "growth is steady, very good!" Well done, Baby Kate! She didn't react too great to the jab in her butt - but as always, the strong trouper whined for a bit and was good as new. Mom was away but we headed back home anyway and spent the afternoon playing with her "weekend toys"; and were visited by gugu's friends Uncle James, Uncle KO and Uncle Alvin. That evening, I also cooked fish porridge with chopped up greens for Kate. I honestly didn't think it was yummy, but she ate it nonetheless. We then headed out to steamboat dinner with some friends. I gotta say that it is rather boring for Kate while the adults ate (and she doesn't get any) but I'm happy that she had sister Kayenne for company that night.

Sunday was spent at Vivocity as the family met Mom who came back from her wkend cruise. It was fun to eat German altogether. Like the sister said, it was "just like Perth". Kate was rather temperamental and grumpy the whole weekend, I wonder if the jab bothered her that much, or perhaps she is teething again.

A grumpy whiney baby is not fun. But, one that is thrilled to play the "walking game" is very! The girl can now walk at least 3metres now, from the arms of one person to the other. It is terribly cute to see her toddling along precariously. Very very fun and I'm very proud of her.

It's back to the work week again, but I try to remind myself that life is so much more meaningful because I have Kate and a lovely family.