#parentingstruggle - reflections

It has been a struggle.

Specifically, my lack of control over myself. It is not new news, but in the last #parentingstruggle moment two nights ago, I paused and reflected (again) and I am reminded that I am in control of myself. Or rather, in my case, it is I should be more in control of myself.

I can blame anything, and anyone, but ultimately, what happens is from me. To be honest, the first step in this acknowledgement, is painful. I am not proud to say that I have bullied my children in my weaker moments of outbursts; but I am going to doggedly continue down this path of self-awareness and pursuit to make things better.

To tell myself of my lousy behaviour is quite shocking, and I am still reeling in this self-realisation. But as with things where we have heard repeatedly, sometimes, it takes the nth time to hear it again to actually understand it.

I am reading through this article I found on the internet and I have been reading through it slowly, and repeatedly. Some gems I pick out include:

...in the storm of our anger, we feel righteously entitled to our fury

The best defense is a good offense, so we lash out at our child in anger. The whole process takes all of two seconds.

Parents and kids have the ability to trigger each other as no one else can. Even as adults we are often irrational in relation to our own parents. (Who has greater power to annoy you and make you act childish than your own mother or father?)

I will continue on this mission.

Princess Sunday

On the last day of the Easter long weekend, we rocked up at a princess-themed party for K's little friend.

A walk-in wardrobe filled with costumes for the
princess and knights wannabes!

Cupcake deco station

 

Sticker tattoo station

 

Everyone gets a chance to be on-stage

Teamwork

Fixing a puzzle

Knight J's team

 

In his knight costume

Riding in a carriage / story-time

The children had fun, and the concept was pretty entertaining. I'm not sure if I encourage such fluff but hey. It's a one-off party, so it's fine. The place was slightly cramped, but I think that the children couldn't care less about that so it was a pleasant afternoon spent for them. This activity ended our Easter long weekend. Back to the grind!

Baking Saturday

A playdate lunch with a girlfriend, turned into an afternoon of impromptu baking for my firstborn. She has a baking bone in her, this one (ahem, I claim no credit) and I'm so thankful that I have friends who can actually help her with this tactile experience. Off she went on her own and spent an afternoon kneading, sprinkling, whisking and what-nots. The end result was lovely - she delivered a whole tray of amazing baked fare of muffins and cookies.

 

Whisking

Plating

 

Drizzling muesli

Healthy blueberry muffins and salty-choc cookies

Face of concentration

A Good Friday at the beach

Munchkins

 

Heading outdoors is such a happy affair. The sun is shining, the breeze is cooling, the kids are laughing... all we need is (1) coleman with ice to chill the drinks (2) random food like chips, simple sandwiches and fruits (3) play items like frisbee and beach toys, and (4) comfort materials like hammock, mats and if you are professional like us, a make-shift table with chairs. That set us up proper for a good 3+ hours.

 

In that time, the husband and I also completed a good workout that consisted of a 1km swim in the sea (pant pant the waves make it so much harder!) and a 5km comfortable run along the beach.

Post-workout happiness

 

Throw in some silly games to fill our guts with laughter ...

Eat-the-chip-on-your-face-without-using-your-hands

It was a lovely, lovely start to our long weekend.

Love language - quality time

After our "very" romantic message exchange, the husband and I did manage to find some time to spend with each other, on our wedding anniversary. It took place after a long day of (1) having the children taken care of thanks to favourite nainai, (2) us clearing our work after 12 hours from 8am to 8pm (3) an impromptu conversation exchange between him and I at 855pm to arrange for a time and place to meet...

 

I was early. I spent about 30 minutes cruising around the mall aimlessly, to decompress. It had been a long day and I was trying to snap out of work mode. I was tired of milling around after a bit, and headed to our agreed destination... and managed to stroll around for a bit of reminescence. Our meeting place was Emerald Hill, a row of shophouses that had been standing there for as long as I can remember, serving alcohol and their famous chicken wings.

 

Why this place? When the husband and I first met in 1995, we were younglings in high school. When the husband and I were slightly older younglings (about 2001), with disposable cash at the 'ripe age for drinking', Emerald Hill was one of the spots where we would meet to have drinks and hang out. Not very often, but we did. I believe it was also one of the first places we met on an unofficial 'date' during those initial years (the other was Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf in the now-torndown building "The Promenade"). Emerald Hill is also the same place where I climbed daily to go to school for 2 years, and being there that night felt highly nostalgic. I was trying to immerse in the feel of memories...

 

Surprisingly, or not, the pubs were still popular and crowded with people. I opted to head to a nearby option rather than our regular old pub specifically, for practical reasons. I just wanted to sit down and have a quiet drink and I did. By the time the husband turned up, I was somewhat relaxed, had some wine and the chicken wings were on its way.

  

A book and a glass of wine. Bliss.

 

I think the night was very nice. I was thankful that the kids were well taken care of, and that I had time to myself. We spent the night talking, and after having had time to reflect upon this time spent together, I am reminded that a common love language of the husband and I have is 'quality time'. Given that it is a scarcity, or it's not as easily available for us, makes any time together more precious. The things we spoke of, were also more real, given that our life stage is obviously different - not just as individuals, but of us together, as a couple. Sometimes, you want to pull out all the stops to have a party, or sometimes, it's these private moments that mean more.

 

Happy Anniversary, Babe. I love you.

March School Holidays - Disney On Ice

 

Last year, I brought the children to watch Disney on Ice for the first time. We had a nice time and since it also coincided with the school holidays, I signed us up for it again. This year's highlights were (1) Frozen - the movie that's taken over our world by snowstorm and (2) the husband actually came with us! While he was half-bored (to death), I'm happy that he made it with us. As our schedules pack up, any time for family-together-time is much appreciated.

 

The evening went quite fine, with a simple dinner, followed by the children hanging out with their little friends, and enjoying the mass sing-along with familiar tunes from Disney.

 

 

Who loves cotton candy!

 

K singing along, J's enraptured face. Love this!