Happy 8 weeks, dear Jake

Today, I celebrate surviving 8 weeks of newbornhood - round two. *Seaworld applause

Even while I grin and take a bow, I must admit that it's more manageable this round - not because it's any easier per se, but more because I know what to expect and thus am a lot less fussed (also read as "I am less psycho"). While I was stressed not knowing what to do every time Kate cried before, I pretty much know what Jake knows now (or rather, I just attend to him trying one possible problem after another - does he need a diaper change? is he hungry? is he bored? is he hot? ...) I also don't have to contend with breastfeeding worries (enough milk? how to milk? drinking enough? ...) this round because I was experienced from before (it helped that I didn't have engorgement nor fever too). But what makes it really different (and truly better) is that Jake's temperament is different from that of his sister. While Kate was definitely a fiesty baby, Jake is a lot more mild and sweet-natured. I think he's an angel baby! Though he's not put on a strict schedule (I'm too lazy to do it), by now, he's already on his sorta schedule which I can totally live with (and am happy about!). Of course, it's not that he doesn't cry his lungs out as if we're torturing him at times, but the truth is, with his sort-schedule, my life is made much easier and together with all the "better-ness" mentioned, it's probably why I am surviving.

Jake's sorta-schedule: He's usually always up by 7am (only on one occasion have I managed to cheat 42minutes more of snooze time - by stuffing the dummy to him (I know, I'm terrible - but I swear it was because I had a particularly rough night!). Though it's only ever happened once because the boy is smart enough to spit it out all other times!) By then, he either needs a feed or he is happy to be entertained - either carried or shifted to somewhere other than his cot. It's as if he knows he's up and wants to be about - not here thankyouverymuch!

So I tend to him (either to feed or to play a bit) and an hour later, I'll give him his morning bath. He enjoys it and I love to splash the water about him and I actually feel him becoming clean and comfortable. Jake gets warm quite easily (btw, he has sweaty palms and feet!) and I also see his face turning oily through the day. So I love how he smells and he must feel as shiok as I imagine him to feel!

He's usually ready to go down for a snooze again after and it's easy to just rock him to nap. When he's up, it'd be feeding time - then it's play-time - then it's nap-time. And that's pretty much how his day goes! He only gets grumpy and unhappy (nap interrupted) if he is soiled and needs to be changed; or if his tummy is uncomfortable (though sometimes he can just sleep through slight regurgitation); or if he wants his dummy that's fallen out of his mouth.

At 8 weeks, he's awake for longer stretches (sometimes up to an hour and more) and he goes to bed by 8pm. He still wakes up every 2-3 hours through the night and I'm trying to see how long my body can tolerate this - though I hope he snaps outta it soon (go, Jake, go you can do it! - though maybe I should research to see how I can help him - and myself...)

Such a pleasant baby, isn't he! I've told the husband on more than one occasion that "he's so easy to love". And through all the time that we have spent together all this past 8 weeks, I have really grown to love this little man. Truth is, with all that I've had to contend with (dealing with the hormones...), I've been so caught up with the not-so-importants. And along the way, when the sunrays stream through the clouds, I remember to stop to smell the roses. And when that happens, I smile and breathe in the baby goodness (oh! so lovely!) and like I said, I remember to feel the love for my son.

And finally, here's a bit on some of his developments:

• Fists are sometimes unclenched
• For the first two weeks, all Jake ever did was eat, sleep and poop. Like, seriously - a textbook baby!
• Now, he is very alert when awake - his eyes dart around and he looks like he is absorbing everything around him
• He coos and gurgles and smiles! It's taken him a while but when he does smile it really makes me crack up!
• He stretches and grunts and makes all these 'man' noises - something I never encountered with Kate before (!) and after speaking to some other Moms, I gather that it really is a 'man' thing!
• He also poops/farts and burps really loudly! Like, adult-sized (heh)
• He is able to lie down and entertain himself for some time - he will stare at something that catches his fancy and lay there (so cutely!) 
• He listens and seems to recognise voices - I swear he recognises my voice and by now, I always get to see him smile more than once every day!
• He has the most fantabulous head of hair for a newborn and it's the key talking point among people (even strangers). By now, he's had his hair trimmed twice by his Papa. 

I like to think that after spending nearly all my time with him since his birth, that I'm his favourite person :)

And here's a series of pics of him since birth - easy to track based on his hair - haha!

27 Feb 2012 - Thomson Medical Centre

9-days-old

12-days-old

14-days-old: you can see his spotty face - a transfer of my hormones to him as well as due to the "heat" he's receiving via breastmilk from the confinement food I was consuming

One-month-old; check out his boomz hair!

29 March 2012 - Jake gets his first hair cut

7-weeks-old - Angry!

7-weeks-old - smiley!

7-weeks-old - liking to observe (thanks to the bestie for this hanging mobile)

My 8-weeks-old lil man - Mommy loves you so much

Happy day

Started good from last night when the sweet husband insisted we head out to dinner. I figured we may as well make it a productive run and so we headed to Ikea in hope to get some shelves for the house. The trip to Ikea failed (didn't get what we wanted) but at least we filled our tummies and we managed a detour to another place where we did buy something we needed.

Post-morning bath with Jake: it was warm enough to don this teeny tank on him - love how "man" he looks with the hair & (kinda) strong arms

Seeing me snap Jake, Kate said that she wanted to take a picture with him. Here's a series of them before I managed a decent shot. It's funny how Kate decided to take his head into her hands - guess she didn't like his head bobbing around much.

A good shot out of the many NGs

Jake went down for a nap and in that time, I managed to spend quite fruitfully with the princess.

Doodling

& we played a silly game of pretend. Here you see her "ringing the doorbell"

It started to pour & there was no way I could manage both kids down to grab lunch. After trying three fast food delivery services, I struck gold with the 4th (phew). No one had to starve. The princess is obviously thrilled! She loves pizza! Here, she goes "WAAAA"

Our unhealthy but rather yummy lunch (such a splurge though for 1.5 people!)

Uh, I did mention she was very thrilled

And here's the final pic of the day - Jake is enthralled with his new toy. Courtesy of the bestie, this hanging mobile does keep him entertained as he just stares at the butterfly. Gotta get batteries to get the thing singing to him too.

Note: several times today, I bit my tongue and I swear it was going to bleed from controlling myself. But I did well today, no tantrums (from me) nor outbursts. I was close one time when Kate threw a tantrum for nothing (I think I asked her to do something like pee or whatever) & she threw stuff on the ground. Somehow, I managed to bite my tongue, take a breath and I told her calmly (I was surprised at how calm I sounded, I was brewing within!) that she could either (1) pick up the things from the floor or (2) go to her room to cry and continue her tantrum and I'll not speak to her. It worked! She said "I pick up the things" & proceeded to do just that - and our day rolled on uneventfully. *beams with pride

There will be ups and downs and I must remember that the tough bits are really not that tough - I just gotta choose how best to deal with them and if I remember who these people are (my children, dammit!) then I should just love them and do what is best for them (which does not include losing my cool).

Little steps... big accomplishments. & I keep walking.

Scenes from our home

Doing craft with Kate - the one of the very few times that we manage to have time to do something quietly together

The end product - different coloured hearts. While she didn't really do much (I engaged her in the colouring), she was more than happy to just use the mini safety scissors and she collected the hearts in the box.

Last Thursday, we brought Kate and Jake out for dinner. This shot is of them both squashed in the pram.

Kate entertains Jake with a purple rabbit

Quentin comes to visit

Angry Jake

Stare-down: Jake & Sophie la girafe

I believe this is what yiyi calls a "meh" face

Last Sunday: we visit baby Ashton, 5 days Jake's junior

I can nearly hear him gurgling looking at this pic!

Fruit-time: Kate and her silly face

Smiley Jake - love that he's more responsive now - he'd smile and lay awake kicking his arms and legs about, while staring and contemplating the meaning of life. He'd also "talk" to us - I believe he may be (nearly) as chatty as his sister

Bath-time: Kate & her new spunky-do (ala Jake)

I love this onesie: it tells it so sweetly! A scrummy baby is made up part-daddy, part-mommy, part sweetness and part love!

12.30pm on weekdays, Kate watches hi-5 on TV. Here she is, dancing along!

Lounging like a boss

Today: a poorly-snapped shot of us.

The girl crosses her leg unglamly even in her sleep =_=

Note: So not all the pics are of us about the home only (though that was my original intention) but to photo-blog is the most efficient way to capture & re-tell our lives at this moment when I'm so short of time. But I like the title too much to change it, so let's not get too technical there ;p

Fail

... because I lost it. Lashed out. Didn't manage to contain my anger.

Please try again.

Kate & Jake

Some sneaks of a shoot I organised for the kids. This series of shots were taken when Jake was 3+weeks old. Today, he is 7 weeks old. Shoot by Noel Yeo.

Dear Kate

Dear Kate,

It's been a long time since I wrote to you. Things have been really quite topsy-turvy lately, haven't they. Mommy feels bad that you have to go through so much when you're so little, but trust me, we don't really have much choice and Papa and I are doing all that we can to make things comfortable and best for you. I'm not sure if it's right, but it's our best.

Separation anxiety is a big thing for you and I'm not surprised really, given the huge amount of changes going on in your life. You've had to deal with my then-pregnancy, had to adjust to a new home with new environment and sleeping arrangements, and you've also had to start school. Right now, you're also faced with a new little brother.

I'm glad that by now, settled well into our new home. You are able to sleep in your room (accompanied by someone) and you walk around the house so carefree, like a boss! You don't even need the lights switched on to run amok and that's a great thing to see - that you enjoy your new home.

School was a huge failure - not on anyone's part, really. Despite your unwillingness, you still go through it very well once you've been dropped off. Of course, the tears and fights while preparing for school ain't pretty but at least you still go along with the motion and get through with it. My heart really aches to see you struggle, but again, it's part of growth and development. To hear you ask so expectantly "today got school?" - and to already know your response whether we say "yes" or "no" is so trying yet painful for me. The relief to the former is palpable, and the distress and unhappiness to the latter is too dramatic. Very tough for your emotional-based Mommy me.

We don't know if it's right, but you're no longer going to school for now - because your body cannot take it. And neither can we. To see you sniffle and cough and run a temperature because of the germs that you are exposed to in school is akin to us delivering you into trouble and after trying to put up with this sick-nonsense and all, we've raised the white flag. I think the last straw that broke the camel's back was when you went back to school after a month's break and on day 2, you were unwell already. To make matters worse, the bug was shared with Jake and the next two weeks that followed watching over the two of you was sheer torture. Even till today, you ask if you have to go to school but the frequency is much less. You still mention your teachers' name and random things about school - but you are definitely happy that you no longer have to go.

You love your little brother and that's so heartwarming to observe. There're no signs of unhappiness at all and I'm so proud of you, to be able to welcome him so openly. You mimic the adults calling him "Jaaake" in that sing-song fashion. You insist on kissing and touching and seeing and carrying him everytime you see him (only to give up when something else more interesting tickles your fancy). You ask about him when you don't see him, you already include him when we talk about things (what about didi?). You are the first to run to him when you hear him cry and you are also the one who disturbs his sleep the most. You tell us "didi crying!" or instruct me "you better go and feed milk!", just like the little bossy girl you are. I hope that you two will grow up together tight so that you have each other to confide, rely and have fun with.

At 2.5years, you are also testing your boundaries and making life rather challenging for everyone around. Perhaps it's a side effect of jealousy too - you clamour for our attention with all sorts of antics and you throw tantrums and yell and scream and your favourite words now are "I DON'T WANT" and "NO". Sigh. Very tough. Every little thing becomes a chore - do you want to shower? Do you need the toilet? Do you - even without completing our question, I know you're already going to resist and kick a fuss, like that's your auto-response. Because I'm nursing Jake, I've had to keep him by my side constantly and I so miss you darling. The pockets of moments where it's just you and me are seldom and when they do happen, it's so lovely because it's just us and you're normal and not a naughty child and that's the Kate that I know and want you to be. I really cannot wait for you to settle down and get out of this terribly terrible phase. It's so detrimental to your being, and mine too.

Lastly, I'm sorry, my dear. I'm sorry that I've lost patience with you too many times. That I'm so harsh with dishing out punishment when you misbehave - I know that you're a child and I ought to be the adult rather than cave in to my emotions, so my dear girl, I'm sorry.

Growing up is tough - Mommy's doing a lot of that now, learning to cope with two - and you're doing a great job of it (can be better! No tantrums please!) and I want you to really listen to me when I tell you repeatedly that 'I love you". Only time will ease our life and from now till the time that we are all comfortable, I pray that you stay happy (as much as you can).

I love you so much, my princess.

Love, Mommy

Conspiracy

Jake wakes up about 7am. He'd toss and turn, swing his arms and legs about and grunt and even though he's not crying, he makes his wakeful-ness clearly known. Some days, I'd be up and ready to give him his bath then because well, we're both awake and in good spirits. Some days (today), I'm tired and sluggish and when he's up I just want him to go back to bed so that I can get some rest. [Today is one of those "some days" because Jake woke up every hour after 3am.]

So I tried to put him back to sleep. I fed him, I changed his diapers, I patted him, I plugged the dummy into his mouth. All the while with my eyes semi-open and I was pretty much horizontal. But after two hours of the unsuccessful affair, I took a deep breath and conceded defeat.

I dragged myself up, had a drink of water, gave him a *ggrr* look and prepared his bath water.

When I went back wanting to pick him up... he was asleep.

=_=