363 days

Today is 2 days before Kate's 1st birthday.

It was about this time last year that I first experienced contractions.

It was 2 nights before the Estimated Delivery Date, and the husband and I were getting impatient and I remember patting my huge tummy, saying "Baby Kate, it's nearly your EDD. Give Mommy some signs and symptoms, ok?" That very night, I felt my first stirrings of contractions. They didn't last long, nor were they painful - just uncomfortable and I felt like my stomach was being plucked at like a harp. *twang twang

It's been a roller coaster ride this past year, and I wouldn't change any of it for the world. Sure, there were some downers when I was admittedly - in retrospect - a little over the edge. But I also recognise that every step along the way was an experience, and I had to learn things through trial and error myself.

I cannot thank the husband enough for his support and help - having a child is a joint responsibility and our ride in the past year has been mostly good as we both matured and grew in our roles for our child. He was my pillar of sense and sensibility when I was nothing but a bundle of nerves. I can count on him to do very rational things such as taking the temperature, playing with her, training her to walk, explaining things to her in high details of technicality and science... he's a good role model (mostly, minus the *points - the sister will understand) and I know that he will be a great playmate for Kate as she continues to grow older and more active.

The dynamics of our relationship has changed too; just the other night, I said to him "babe, we don't take pictures with each other anymore. Now, it's all about Kate!" This is pretty evident from my picture updates on Facebook - my most recent albums are all of K's.

I appreciate the friends I have around me who have given me personal advice from their own trials and tribulations, and I've come to appreciate the finer things in life. I definitely appreciate family and their help with Kate; the grandparents, grandaunts and granduncles, cousins - everyone has been so generous with their love towards my little girl.

My priorities in life are definitely different - family is tops now. Not that it wasn't before, but there is a renewed vigour in my appreciation of what's closest to my heart. All of life has become so much more special and meaningful since I've become a mother. Taking a walk - it's sweeter with Kate. It's more fun as I point out the birds and the trees, the cats and the cars. Eating - it's fun to experiment and let her eat with us, teaching her how to say please and eat in hand signals; seeing how she is always eager to join us at the dining table, how she has a seemingly bottomless stomach as she asks to eat everything that she sees. Going to the library, the park, the mall - everything is more exciting because we can share it with her. I love it.

I'm overcome with emotions as I think back and recall vividly the moments from the first contractions till the time the husband and I drove to the hospital at 2am; to hearing the nurse announce me as "5cm dilated", to pushing (not a very good job I did, apparently says the husband), to the first wails of Kate... to the first time she flipped herself around, her first smile, her first words, when she crawled, when she can run and play catching in her walker, when she knows that she's being reprimanded for doing something wrong, when she cried from colic, when she cries wanting attention, when she laughs when we tickle her, when she gives me a hug and crawls to lie on my body... it's been an awesome journey and the best 12 months in my life yet.