The worst week

After a great 'high' from my holiday, I dipped into a real 'low' last week.

I mean, I was prepared (somewhat) for the onslaught of work because I knew the work-plan for the week. What I had not anticipated was that I would fall ill. I ran a fever on-off the entire week and had to push on at work in spite of it. So for 3 whole days, I had to function like clockwork and keep going, because I felt responsible about what I had to do.
It was also exceptionally tough, because besides dealing with my breaking-down-body, I also missed Kate, and on one particularly long night (the team left work at 3am), I totally missed my motherly and wifely duties when it slipped my mind to inform the husband that I was not heading home yet - affecting his sleep and the need to prep for Kate's night feeds.

It was horrible.

On Saturday night, the world crashed as I became overwhelmed with the pain, the disappointment and the unhappiness that I'd been fighting over time. The demons within came alive, it was doom and very very gloom.

It's now Monday and the worst of it has waved by.

I still need time to get over the trauma (it's all in the head) but a few things I'm thankful for:
1. The sister
for the support, for really understanding.

2. The husband
I only react so muchly because you mean so much to me, you know. And I know you will always love me, I will too, but you, being the logical being that you are, will never really understand why me, being the emo me that I am, is like this. I just am.

3. The baby
The key reason and being of my life. If I never knew what kept me going before, I will never forget why now. Somehow, at the depths of my sadness, I always knew that I was never as broken as before. I knew that I cannot indulge (too much) and I had to bounce back, because I had to be accountable to and for Kate.