Naughty corner

As the little one gains independance, she is also more cheeky and a huge handful.

She wants to walk everywhere on her own and wiggles out of our arms after an average of, well, 3 seconds. It's exasperating because sometimes, I really just wish to hug her but she obviously does not reciprocate. Nonetheless, it is terribly heartening to see her waddling around so cutely. She's still rather unstable but getting better and stronger each day.

I've also heard many times how naughty kids grow - I know it's inevitable and a natural progression as they discover and develop, but it is very frustrating, hair-pulling and overall, unpleasant!

Things I prefer Kate not to do:
She throws a tantrum - cries on demand.
She throws things on the floor - when we tell her not to. She does this to express her annoyance or displeasure when we tell her off, or simply because she is being naughty.
She grabs my glasses off my face.
She spits her food out - this she does when she's bored or full.
She bites - seldom but still happens. Salvation is that she does not bite hard, bit still, it's unacceptable. And what's odd is when she bites herself and we see bite marks on her arms.
She refuses to sleep/stay where we ask her to - attempts to climb off the bed/feeding chair and wriggles whilst screaming murder.
She touches everything lying around - dangerous as she may end up putting small objects into her mouth.
She insists on the pacifier - we only allow her to have it at night time, before she goes to sleep but she will cry for it when she's in the mood (especially when sleepy). Sometimes we give in, especially when she's hysterical.
She demands for biscuits, bread or milk - when she feels like them, even after she has had a meal. Greedy baby.
She picks up her shoes and puts them into her mouth - this is a new-found hobby as of 2 weeks' back. I have no idea why she does this. I am very certain she is not hungry.

Overall, I think Kate is, on the whole, a rather well-behaved child and I count my blessings that she is, but when the moments such as above occur, I really am at my wit's end as to what to do.
(The husband and I have had secret conversations with each other where we despair and worry what we'd do if we are unable to control Kate. Solution? We have to be consistent, firm and support each other. Little else we can do really. Oh, and have faith.)

When she was about 3-4 month's old, I recall the first time I yelled at her and smacked her hands for pulling at the electrical wires. It broke my heart to do it but, hey, it worked! Till today, she knows not to touch them.

Yesterday, I've had it with her nasty behaviour. She had bitten me (lightly on my shoulder) and I put her down on the floor against the wall and held her there while telling her repeatedly that she is not to bite me, nor anyone else. In truth, I was more yelling because I had to make sure she could somehow hear me above the crying racket she was making. It was a challenge as I also had to hold her still, while protecting her head (otherwise she'd smack her head against the wall).

Gotta give it to her, she struggled for her life.

At the end of it, I know she just wanted me to let her go and quit yelling at her - the moment I did, she leaned into my body and put her head on my shoulder, whimpering. My heart melted but I had to keep my voice steady and stern while I repeated to her what she was not to do.

I was drained at the end of the episodes - the second time happened in the evening when she'd misbehaved again. It's the first time that I'd done this with her and I know (gotta have faith!) that soon, she will understand that she will be punished for bad behaviour.

This parenting game is tough - but it's gotta be done. And I know that it is essential that the husband and I are consistent in how we treat and discipline her as this maketh the foundation of how a child behaves in the future. No one likes a brat. And the husband and I will not support bratty behaviour.

Yay

the husband is back!

Gaining independence

Kate is definitely becoming more endearing, as she becomes equipped with knowledge each day. Her developments are amazing and I love to watch her execute commands, as she displays proudly the things that she knows - whether she mimics actions that we do, or speaks words.

Last night, she annoyed, surprised and amused me - all at the same time.

It was late, way past her bedtime and she awakened suddenly, wanting to get off the bed. After struggling with her for some tries, I gave up and gave her the "Mommy is very tired. I'm going to sleep!" lecture and proceeded to lay down and pretend sleep. This has happened before and it still annoyed me (I was very tired! She ought to be sleeping!) - but what she did next was pretty amazing.

She picked up the empty milk bottle (from her post-sleep feed), stood by my face and made the milk sign (sign language), and proceeded to walk towards the door holding the bottle tightly in her hand. When she reached the door (which was closed), she turned around to look at me. I was still lying in bed. After waiting 3 seconds, she walked back to me and repeated the sign language and walked to the door again. This little girl was asking for milk and wanted me to head to the kitchen!

I was very impressed and felt, now what I recognise, as pride. My little girl is able to display her intentions through her ways and it is an amazing thing. I'm pretty stoked.

Now, only another 2 days before the husband comes back from his work trip so he can takeover some parenting duties and watch her developments and growth with his own eyes.

Parenting is definitely more rewarding when two people are able to share it.

Speaking Kate

Kate has been babbling away for months now and it's terribly cute to hear her speak. Okay, not so much speak, but to be able to name items that she recognises. Her spoken vocabulary (spoken because her level of comprehension is higher than what she is able to say):

papa
mama (different intonations and slight variance for the MIL, my mom and me)
yeye
yiiiii (yi yi)
gong gong (she doesn't say the word properly but has all intention of doing so - the sound she makes is pretty much the phonetic of the 'g' which barely sounds like anything except that we understand her since she does that repeatedly when she sees the FIL)
ball (this has got to be her clearest spoken word)
mum-mum (food)
random animal sounds (not very clear, but she imitates sounds of tiger, barks like a dog and has a weird cute sound she makes as a cat's meow)
O (letter O, oh-oh or simply when she wishes to make a sound)
shoe (she only manages to do 'oe' than the whole word)
open (again, she manages half the word - "op")

What's amazing is that Kate speaks mandarin too! It took me a while to realise that she wasn't just making random sounds (as it didn't sound English to me) and they were really words!

Her spoken mandarin vocabulary:
pao3 (run)
pao4 (make milk)
wo3 (me - this is her clearest mandarin word)
ya1 (duck)
yao4 (want. this sounds abit weird though, not very accurate but it's the right meaning as she typically goes yao-yao when she wants food)
yu2( (fish. but the way she says it sounds more like yi2)
ma3 (horse)
bao1 (bread, short form of mian bao)
yeye (grandfather)
an4 (press. She says this when she wants the TV - pressing the buttons on the remote - and when she wants to press the ear of her rocking horse for music to play)

What's also interesting is that Kate speaks mandarin to the MIL and English to me.

Ahh, how clever the brains of these little ones work!

Here, there and everywhere

It's been a week since Kate truly discovered mobility and prefers to walk everywhere on her own. This translates into everyone being more vigilant and tired out because she is no longer well, for lack of a better word, containable.

This morning, when I was in the kitchen, I heard her cry from the room. I rushed to see her and found her lying on the floor, face up and wailing. Oops.
The soldier recovered very quickly after I smothered her with love hugs and kisses.

Ahhh, life will only become more and more interesting...

Letter to the husband

Dear husband,

Through the 5.5years that we've been together (from dating days to man-and-wife), you have been away for work on average 2-3 times every year. Durations vary from a few days, couple of weeks to months. The saying goes Absence makes the heart grow fonder and I have to agree with it - especially (if my memory serves me right) on two occasions, your work trips away gave us the distance and time apart from each other that we needed. The time-outs helped us value our space and more importantly, realise how much we still wanted to work hard at keeping the relationship going - and those trips were always well-received as the end results were that we ended up closer, communicated more and well, more in love (again). I remember we used to joke that we were always so in love because we constantly had to restart our honeymoon period everytime you came back on a trip.

Besides those mentioned instances, I never enjoy you being away. Some partners quite enjoy it when their other halves go away, as that translated into time they could do anything that they desired. I was not that type. Our lives were (and still are) so intertwined with each other and we choose to spend time together so much so that when you're not around, I missed you very much. Of course, I'll try to make arrangements with my own friends, but it was not the same without you. I had to get used to your work trips and I dealt with them best as I could.

One of the tougher separations we had to endure, had to be your 3 (or was it 4?) month long trip away when I was pregnant. You missed a whole trimester of my pregnancy and it was not easy. I dealt with it - as I had to - and somehow, carrying a fetus around made missing you, well, easier to bear. Perhaps it was the fact that I couldn't just pine my time away. I had to not only look after myself, but this miracle that I'm carrying. Of course, it couldn't have been any easier for you, but I think everything worked out very well.

Currently, you're only away for 3 weeks. It is practically nothing compared to the other long-haul trips you have made. However, I've never yearned for you to be safe and to be back as hard as before. Besides the fact that we have Kate now, and anyone who knows will understand that having a child is extremely time-consuming and labour-intensive. I'm lucky to have the support of family when you're not around, but it is not the same. Ladle on the fact that our little one has been unwell pretty much the entire time that you've been away, it truly sucks.

This brings me to say my heartfelt thanks to you. You not being around makes me realise how big the vacuum of your presence and contribution is. I cannot wait for you to be back.

Love, me

Being strong, being thankful

I chanced upon a blog that made me very emotional. It's a bitter-sweet story, but leaning on sweet because though it's not happily ever after - yet, hopefully - it is very inspirational and it gives me reason to be thankful for all that I have in my life.

I have a loving husband who, despite his eccentricities and outward appearance, is really a sweetheart. I have the most beautiful daughter in the world who already has such a distinctive character at the tender ol' age of 13.5 months old. I have great family who are there to lend help and support. I have close girlfriends who accept me for who I am. I have an able and healthy body that allows me to do what I wish to do.

I am a lucky girl. I need to remember not to sweat the little stuff.

Having said that, I have to say that it is not easy being strong. Kate has been ill for way too long already - the stomach flu that had her having fever and diarrhoea for a grand total of 10 days, followed by bouts of cough and cold (no thanks to the haze that hit Singapore just as her immune system was low), and the fever recurring again the past week. I do all that I have to do to monitor her condition, but it is tiresome and stressful emotionally, mentally and physically especially with the husband being away.

I pray that Kate will get better soon, for good and not have the sickness creep back every few days.

Gotta be strong, gotta be thankful.