Same, but different

Jake, 8 days old.

Kate, 2 days old.

Jake, 9 days old.

Kate, 5 weeks old.

I really, really like the pic of them resting on my shoulder with their mouths agape. When I saw Jake propped on my shoulder like that the other day, I immediately remembered that I had seen the same face before. Which prompted me to snap a pic of Jake and go dig up this pic of Kate from before (not too difficult, thanks to FB!).

I reckon the siblings look quite similar. Not entirely the same, but they do. Whatcha think?

Confinement & getting into a groove of things

So it's been nine days since Jake's arrival and exactly a week since we came back home. I think we've gotten into a sort of routine. From my experience with Kate, I knew that the hospital stay was going to be the best bits - food was being delivered, the baby could be wheeled away upon request, diapers could be changed by others... so I guess the tough bits really hit in the last week.

It was wonderful to be home, really. I loved being back home, in familiar surroundings, but I also knew that I will dread confinement month. I don't mind the foods being served to me (the lovely and precious Mother is sacrificing her leave to help out and I really love the food she whips up, even if - according to her - I'm never eating enough which, by the way is an untruth. I always feel stuffed after every meal and I have snacks of biscuits and whatnots in between too!) nor the fact that there is an extra pair of hands to do mostly everything (I'm very lucky, I know) but what I really detest is the fact that I don't have air-conditioning and all I can rely on is the natural breeze. I guess I'm lucky that I stay on a high-enough level that there is natural breeze (at times, mostly in the evenings and in the night) and the most horrid bits of the day are from 2 to 5pm where the sun is blazing and if the air is still, oh boy, my temperature and temper shoots right up! But just so I'll remember, here's how the past week has been (timings may change but the sequence is pretty much the same day after day after day - did I already mention that confinement isn't the most fun-filled affair?!)

7am: Kate is usually up by this time and so does the entire household. The husband leaves for work, the Mother is up bustling about the kitchen and I'm either feeding or trying to wake up or not wanting to wake up but it's usually futile because there's just too much commotion happening. The mother will urge me to have breakfast, Kate will come into the room, Jake will be fidgeting and yup, I'll get up and start my day.

Kate cheche will hop onto the bed wanting to "see Jake didi" and there goes my plans of going back to sleep.

7.30am: Breakfast. My confinement breakfast is pretty standard. It's a hot cup of Milo/Horlicks which I'll have with some cake/bread/biscuits. I'll also have a bottle of chicken essense, a half-boiled egg (I eat so much egg during confinement it gets rather scary and I really don't prefer it anymore for the next few months!). Breakfast is a busy affair because while the Mother and I are trying to have it, Kate will be running around the house, dropping her breakfast all over the floor while we try to stop her from doing so. Jake will usually be sleeping in the room and Kate will also be making visits to him and every time she does so, one adult will have to go take a look because we have to watch that she doesn't disturb him too much. Her over-enthusiasm with him (like he's some real toy) makes it endearing, yet rather tiresome because she will hit him too hard or smother him while trying to sayang him. But because we want her to bond with her brother and not let her feel that she's restricted because of him (it may backfire with her feeling resentful of him) we allow her this freedom of going to see him when she fancies. Breakfast is over not when we finish eating. It truly ends after we clean up after Kate - she'd have littered her food all over the floor so part of the deal is to make the house not look like we'd fed an army in it (& they were eating off the floor).

8.30am: The mother will either be playing with Kate, or brought her down to the market to do groceries or run errands. This will give me some quiet time to feed Jake.

Peaceful baby post-feed. You can see my orbit pjs that I bought from the market because they were long pants. I never wear anything long cos it's usually too warm anyway! But I wanted to make some effort since the mother doesn't fuss when I wear t-shirts & 3/4 bottoms in the daytime.

10am: I invested in a 7-day post-natal massage package and this is the hour that I get kneaded (hopefully) back into shape. The oils are meant to aid in blood circulation & to keep me warm. With Kate, the whole confinement & post-labour stress got to me so much I didn't enjoy these sessions then. The most beneficial lessonI got out from then was how to massage my breasts. The then-masseur taught me how to unclog my engorged breasts and helped me tide over the engorgement pains. This time, I'm more collected and actually am able to relax during the sessions.

11am: Massage over and I now feel like a ba-zhang. I'm binded so tightly that I can't move or breathe freely (it loosens as I move about through the day) but I persevere to keep the binding on till dinner time because I want to lose that tummy flab!

The mother will start preparing lunch as I then take over to play with Kate. We play with her toys, do drawing or read her books. She doesn't have enough toys in the new place but we're trying to make do. It'll take a long time before we are able to clear everything from the old place!

12.30pm: We have lunch. It's usually mee sua with liver/fish/meat/veg and it's always yummy and I always finish a huge bowl. Then I'd feel rather uncomfortable because my stomach has no space (I'm ba-zhang!) & well, I just deal with it. I then spend the next hour or so trying to wiggle my body or keep it really straight as there's no other way I can deal with how full I am!

The mother will either have lunch together, or sometimes she (or my Dad) will bring Kate out of the house so that everyone regains some sanity (I'm the only one confined really, not them!). They'll go to the park or the mall to eat and/or buy things.

2pm: The troupe comes home. Kate will be given milk and put to take a nap. Ideally, if Jake was napping too, this will be the time that the Mother and I have time to do our own thing. I usually surf the net, blog or something; otherwise I'll try to take a nap. The operative word is "try" because this is really the start of what I call the dreaded bewitching hours. It's the peak of the afternoon heat and when you're feeling all hot and sweaty with no means of air-conditioning, I'm at the mercy of the winds. And on days where the winds are absolutely still - OMG, let's just say it's not the most fun thing to endure. Some days, it's so muggy that I get drugged to sleep with the heat (yes, whilst drowned in my own sweat). Most days, it's so warm and uncomfortable that I just lay there and sneak fanning myself. It's terribly uncomfortable.

4pm: The household gets busy again when Kate wakes up from her nap. We then take turns entertaining her, making sure that she's taken care of and the Mother then starts to prepare dinner.

5.30pm: The husband comes home from work - hooray! He can then help to play with Kate - by bringing her out to the playground or to the shops just so they take a walk - and I'll have time left to spend quietly with Jake.

6pm: Dinner is served. The father and the sister will come over to have home-cooked food and time passes quite quickly from here. The sister is great help by taking care of and playing with Kate - so much so that very quickly within this week, Kate's taken to asking for her favourite yiyi in the daytime. It's so sweet "yiyi coming later?" - she'll ask. Or on another occasion, I ask if she wants to have dinner with me and she replies, "No, I want to wait for yeye and yiyi to come"- aaww isn't that a sweetheart!

7pm: The sister will start playing with Kate after her dinner and everyone gets to do their own thing for a while.

9pm: We put Kate to sleep; either the husband, Mother or me.

10pm: The kids are down and the husband and I spend some time catching up and talking to each other. We go through the day's events for both of us and well, just talk about things both important and unimportant. I really enjoy this time because it's pretty much the time I have adult conversation and well, it's the only time where it's quiet enough for me to share with the husband my thoughts and feelings (and worries).

11pm: I head to lie on the bed and by this hour, the winds start blowing and it's actually comfortable. I'll browse on my iPhone for a bit before I try to go to sleep.

"Imagine if we didn't talk"

I can't, really. Cos for as long as I know, I'm always a "talker". I talk to strangers, I talk to my friends, I talk about my problems, I talk about happy things - well, I'm extrovert by nature and I love to talk. I have mellowed considerably through the years, but I think you cannot change nature and well, I'm still rather talkative.

But the context of the subject title was said by the husband. It was nearly midnight and the kids had gone to sleep. He came into the room where Kate was just about dozing off and said, "come out to talk later". And talk we did. For a whole hour+, we spoke about childcare arrangements for Kate, we talked about my hormones post-Jake (much better compared to Kate), childcare arrangements after I go back to work, coping with having two kids... it was really nice (the chat. The contents were rather stressful). And amidst the chat, the husband said "imagine if we didn't talk" - and I cannot really. Because there are so many issues and things to discuss, especially given that our lives have changed tremendously due to the changes that we're going through in our lives... the husband is not by nature a "talker" (just for the record, our MBTI personalities are completely opposites) but over the years, he's opened up considerably to discuss matters with me and well, I really think that communication is the foundation of all relationships. I'm pleased and very happy that the husband and I maintain talking with each other - it's important that we keep doing so and well, I'm so in love with this man, really.

An interesting topic that came up in our midnight chat was us recounting Jake's birth together. We shared about what we each remembered about the night and it was nice, to hear his side of the story. I was most proud of the fact that I could push Jake out - all on my own! - despite not being able to feel due to the epidural, and the husband shared (this is interestingly scary!) that he was monitoring the contraction machine (it displays a number - about 15 at dormant stage, and by the time it creeps to 20 and above, a contraction would have hit) and at the final stages of pushing, the number hit 45 & above! OMG. I cannot imagine the real pain I might have felt otherwise! Despite hearing that, I shared that I kinda regretted taking the epidural because now I'll never have the chance to feel it again (labour, truly au natural) - but the husband reckons that epidural was the right way to go! (I felt comfort hearing that.)

Today is 5 March, the EDD that we thought Jake will arrive. But he surprised us with an unexpectedly early appearance into our world.

Everything will be okay with us working at things together, my husband. Love.

Scenes from the home

The house has been pretty much turned topsy-turvy with the arrival of a newborn. While the house is still standing, there's been so much activity buzzing about that it's truly quite a whirlwind. People have been coming and going to visit and say "Hi", the kitchen is being maximally utilised as the Mother cooks for the family lunches and dinners. There's more than the usual three people who actually sleep here with the Mother bunking over these two weeks as she helps out with my confinement. There's always washing to be done (more than before), and well, it's really a hive of activity really.

Here are some snapshots to remember the more peaceful moments:

Jake has jaundice so he needs to be 'baked'. Our room has brilliant morning sun rays (when it isn't raining or overcast) so that's the perfect spot for him to do his personal 'spa' session. Poor Kate's been ill so we make her wear a mask when she goes near to her little didi.

The husband is also ill. And he too, has to put on a mask. And so is the Mother! I'm trying hard to fight the bug - I don't (can't) wanna be ill - I need to feed my baby round the clock! Here's the husband talking to his son one night.

After the first PD visit where we discovered that Jake's jaundice levels have risen since discharged from hospital, we attempted to step-up the baking efforts. Here, the husband lounges with his son in our balcony in the evening sun. No direct rays but it's still bright. They look really comfortable, as if they're having a picnic, don't they?

Kate snuggles up to her brother.

Last night was a very rough one where Kate woke up and decided she didn't want to go back to sleep. The husband and I were both up for two hours (on top of Jake's feeding times) trying to put Kate down. Here, you see the oblivious newborn, the cheeky sister and the knackered husband.

Sibling love. I'm really proud of Kate - she's taking to her brother very well and though she's performing more antics to get our attention (oh that's so exasperating I tell you), she's generally loving towards her didi.

Jake - the birth story

While I was patting Kate to sleep on Sunday night, I felt some tingling sensation in my back. It was very mild and I was trying to figure out if it was anything at all when the husband came into the room.

"I feel a little something", I said to him. To which he looked at me quizzically. I then continued to pat Kate and tried to concentrate on the "feeling", trying to figure out if it was something, or nothing.

I think it was about 11pm then, and rather quickly, the tingly feeling became more pronounced and by 11.30pm, I told the husband "I really am feeling something!"

We were both a little alarmed and unsure to what next - I was very hesitant to jump to the hospital because Kate gave me false labour for days and besides, my EDD wasn't till a week away. Using our same method as during Kate's labour, I gripped the husband's hand very tightly everytime I felt a contraction. Yup, that tingly feeling had very quickly became painful and it was the familiar sensation of a contraction! It had gotten intense rather quickly and before long, the husband was able to estimate that I was going to feel pain (2mins) and how long it'd last ("it'd go away in 10 secs").

Despite this, I wasn't sure if the contractions will last or stop abruptly (as it did with Kate) so I was still feeling very uncertain if this was it. I then remembered that I'd felt my tummy contracting quite obviously while I was doing dishes earlier on in the night - but I had dismissed them as cramps were rather common and I also thought they were merely Braxton Hicks.

It was about midnight that the husband and I decided to call the Mother, who's on standby to care for Kate if we had to leave for the hospital. I made the call and told her that we're "monitoring the situation". I tried to hit the loo (you never know, it may have been a tummyache!) and realised that I was bleeding - "the mucus plug is out!" - and that was when I rang my mom again and told her that "it was time".

The husband and I left the house after I went about packing my hospital bag (haha yes, I still hadn't done it!) and as I had just taken a shower some hours ago before I went to bed, it didn't make sense for me to re-wash my hair all over. I did take a shower, enjoying the warm water on my body and ached to know that it'd be a long while before I would be able to stand under the running water so freely (boo).

Enroute to the hospital, the husband made a supper stop. I could barely stomach anything (was feeling reflux from the movements in my tummy) so I just accompanied the husband and through the meal, I was monitoring the contractions, just to make sure that they were still coming and hadn't stopped (they didn't).

It was about 1ish in the morning when we parked the car in the unusually empty car park (it's always so packed when we're there in the day!) and the husband and I decided not to take anything out of the car except our wallets & phones; just in case it really was a false alarm and we were sent back (not so malu). I remember feeling this strange sense of familiarity - as with Kate, it was also in the dead of the night and I was feeling the same sense of uncertainty if it was it. I held the husband's hand tightly and said to him "well, if anything, at least you had a yummy supper right?"

We walked into the familiar surroundings of the hospital and were greeted by a smiley nurse at the counter who asked, "having pains? Head on up those stairs." (Funny how the little details are coming back to me as I'm writing this). I remember repeating those words to the husband and mentioned how cheery the nurse was. Glad I wasn't having more awful pains or I may have snarled back at her!

I was attended to by a similarly cheery nurse who told me to change into the hospital garb and after asking me the details of my pains before coming in, she did the all important examination. The husband and I waited with bated breath and she made the announcement "4 cm".

YAY! We were both pretty happy with the progress and the husband headed off to do the necessaries like administration etc. We also spent a moment deliberating whether or not I'd opt for epidural and the sense of deja vu as with Kate's birth was very high and as with Kate, I made the decision to go for it.

I was pushed into the delivery ward and about an hour after I was admitted, I got pain relief. The rest of the night was pretty boring, with me trying to get some rest when the epidural kicked in. What was different was that this time round, I had some difficulty getting the right level of relief - I still felt sensation (whereas with Kate I totally didn't from the onset) and after some adjustments, I pretty much snoozed through the night fitfully.

At about 6ish in the morning, the nurses started bustling around the room as if preparing for the delivery. I kinda expected that there will be something happening because it seemed about the right time for the doctors to start their rounds before they hit the day clinic. My gynae was on leave, so I had another stand-in and she strolled in at about 7am and examined me. I was given the option to wait for my water bag to burst naturally, or she could aid me. I opted for aid because Kate's water bag was burst then too. (Too similar!) After the deed was done, I was ready to push. The pain relief was lowered so that I could feel a little.

What was different this time round was the fact that I had to do the pushing all by myself. As Kate had meconium in the water bag, her birth was aided by vacuum. I didn't feel any pain while pushing but I must have been doing something right because I was told so. I really gave it my best and tried to do exactly what I was told to do. Inhale, push and exhale and quickly inhale again. This went on every time a contraction hit me and while I didn't feel pain, I instinctively knew when it was time to do so. After 30 minutes or so of practise pushing, the baby's position was optimalI had managed to push Jake so that he was crowning and the gynae was called back to the room. She announced to me, "baby will be out before 8. It's now 7.54" and off we went!

The final pushes were rather quick - it took all of 3 minutes and a series of 5 pushes (I think) and while I didn't feel any pain or major sensation, I knew when I'd popped Jake out; I felt his body slither out from my tummy.

I shed tears of joy and I remember feeling in a daze, and disbelief that I had done it. I know that I had done it and I remember feeling this immense sense of love for the husband as I looked at him by my side. He was the perfect companion, lending me support and strength throughout the night and I cannot ask for a better man. Thank you, my love.

Welcome to the world, Jake Seah: 27 February 2012, 7.57am.

Our last date (pre-Jake)

Sunday, 26 February, was a day well-spent. We had the day crammed with things to do and it was just as well, because Jake came the day after. I'll write about my labour story next, but here's our day on that Sunday.

The morning started with the family doing a photo-shoot. I'd wanted to capture my swollen belly along with our family of 3 and after making arrangements with a girlfriend, the shoot took place quite smoothly that morning.

Then we dropped Kate off and the husband and I were off to enjoy some us-time. Some weeks ago, the husband bought tickets to "The Illusionist", showing at the Marina Bay Sands. We planned the day to be one of us, where we went on a date and spent some time together.

A poorly taken picture, but the best I've got. Us at the Sands Theatre.

The performance was alright, entertaining, and it was just nice to be able to spend time with the husband. We had an early dinner, followed by me introducing the husband to a dessert shop where we indulged in durian mousse - it was yums!

The last thing I ate before labour.

After stuffing ourselves, we headed to pick up a borrowed baby cot from a friend. We then headed home to pick Kate up and our night seemed pretty routine, where I packed the house, we washed up and I put Kate to sleep.

To the husband: how funny that while we were strolling around MBS, that I said to you "it'd be a month after I deliver that we can go out on dates as I'll be stuck in confinement!" Thanks for making arrangements for the show and every moment spent with you is always loving and appreciated. Love, me.

Our last couple of days in pictures

3-day-old Jake, taking a nap. 1 March 2012, 10am.

1 March: Cheche Kate, bonding with her lil brother.

29 February 2012: Jake comes home in his first set of non-hospital clothes. One of the tiniest set of clothes I bought for my son.

29 Feb: Papa and cheche come home to see the newest member of the family

29 Feb: Jake lies on the bed at home. Still decked out in his full-gear, warmly covered from head to toe. Check out how baggy everything is!

29 Feb: Sneakily took a picture of the nurse dressing him up (Nurse with black glasses)

28 February 2012: Eyes wide open. Those are his Papa's eyes.

28 Feb: Papa and son bonding

I AM TINY WATCH ME OPEN WIDE YAWNS

27 February 2012: Kate meets Jake for the first time in hospital

27 Feb: Perplexed Kate. When she first reached the hospital - think she was processing why I was lying on the hospital bed and all the fuss

27 Feb: One of the first shots of Jake with his eyes open

27 Feb: Papa swaddling his son

27 Feb: teeny feet

27 Feb: First shot of Jake and I, post-delivery

27 Feb: First shot of Papa and Jake, post-delivery

27 February 2012, Jake Seah

27 February 2012: Jake's birth weight, 3.34kg

27 February: couple shot in the delivery suite. I love you, my husband.

27 February 2012: Right at the beginning at 4cm-dilated