Random

The impromptu date with Hi5. The kids are still enjoying it, to some degree.
The novelty of dancing along with the songs is less enthusiastic though. They
are growing up and more conscious now.

The school snail mails a letter addressed to J. It is a card he made at school
for Papa, for Father's Day. He proudly poses with it, as Papa is not
around to receive it from him - yet.

Fresh oysters on a nice night out with friends, both big and little.

This boy takes a selfie to send to Papa.

Dropping K off at school. She is totally unshy about flashing her toothless grin.
Too cute.

Ball play on a random Saturday

The night they both decided to sleep on the bed and oust me off

A random night I pigged out all by myself - red
wine, chocolate, chips, cheese, crackers... burpp

A yummy, wholesome lunch with the people who
mean the world to me

Red shoes

Bad writing and careless mistakes in work that made me flare up

Peace

It has been a trying time for me. Anything that doesn't go well irks me, perhaps disproportionately so. While I try - and I can definitely try harder - to be the good Mother who takes everything in her stride, I have been extremely impatient and curt with the children. I get tired of their incessant whining. I am annoyed with their lousy attitudes and demands. I am sick of nagging them of things that they already know. K, especially, has been on the receiving end of the short stick. She's had punishments dished out to her for her bad habit of biting her fingers - I had a go at her daily for the past 3 days. She was yelled at for not being attentive or responsible for her school work/packing/matters. She has no sense of care or desire to do better in her writing, or work, or anything academically-related and I let her know it is unacceptable. I am being extra hard on them for the littlest of things - sitting to complete dinner and no leaving the table for no reason at all; listening to simple instructions and not gallivanting about.


Being this hard and fierce saps up a lot of energy from me, and I am tired. However, I also think that since I started being this strict mom, I need to continue so that the children know that I mean business. It is time for them to learn that I do mean business too.


On the flip side, I worry that they are hurt by me. I worry that what I am doing is not right. I worry that I get too mad. Last night was not great, as they still defied the rules by chatting after lights off (it was already 1030pm!) - and it was not pretty. I went to bed guilt-ridden at yelling at them... when really, all I want is to send them to dreamland feeling secure and loved.


Today, I will try again. I can be firm and strict without losing it. They can learn the lesson because it is a continuous journey to learn and improve, yes?


I can do this.