8 years

And they say romance is dead

Turning 36

I have mixed feelings about this birthday, as I turn 3-6. Yes, age is just a number and I know I have heaps to be thankful for, so while I take more time to gather my thoughts (not just about turning another year older, but the direction and challenges that are already presented to me this year, and in anticipation of what more is upcoming, it's a year of trials, learning and character development - especially in the areas of patience, and to be present)... here's a recap of how I spent my birthday on 18 March 2016.

 

My day started out early and dark. I had wanted to clock a run to start the day right, and I did.

 

Wearing my new top!

 

I've become pretty good at listening to my body, and making my exercise plans materialise, just by being dilligent in actively planning what I want to do for the day (still toggling between yoga, HIIT and running), and being disciplined to do them. It's not difficult, since my body has been in rhythm for the past few years, though my recent struggles have been to push myself to bed earlier so that waking up isn't as difficult.

A slow, leisure run to start the day right

My pace for running has dropped. I seem to have lost the speed and motivation to move quicker, though I still have the desire to keep running. The distance I accomplish are also comfortable within 5-6km and I have little time/motivation to go further. I think it's a phase I'm going through, where I view running as a form of outlet my body needs/wants (yes, I do crave to run) and there is no need for me to push myself as there is no 'goal' I am trying to hit (no trainings for any long-distance runs). I'm happy though, as I'm listening to my body and still clocking some movement.

Then, I prepared for work and a little buddy accompanied me, working up a sweat while at it.

WHEEEEEEE

My work day was relatively uneventful - no crisis, which is great, and through the day, I received greetings from well-wishers and I felt very thankful to be remembered by my friends and colleagues. I got e-greetings, about 150 wishes from Facebook, and text messages from my friends around the world - and it was amazing.



Feeling blessed

 

Jap lunch treat from this team, and a chocolate cake to top it off

 

I ended work not too late and managed to fit in a leisurely happy hour beer with some colleagues. Then, dinner (that I chose, and booked for myself. I had to book it under the husband's name because I wanted to put in a 'birthday request' for his wife).

 

We enjoyed a sumptuous dinner of clam/mussel soup, beef cheek, seabass and pizza at Etna. I tried it some months back and had wanted to share the place with the family, so glad that I did. To finish off the night, we received a sweet treat, which was announced to me by the children "it's a secret I cannot tell you!" for the early part, to J asking outright "where is the birthday cake!" after it took a little too long to arrive, for his liking. Ah, kids and their blatant honesty. Love it.

 

Happy birthday Mommy

Jake's rendition of our family. He started writing his name first, then asked how to spell
"LOVE" then "FROM" - except he heard "S" instead of "F".
"LOVE SROM JJAKE" 

Us.

 

An even better version of us - too funny not to share!

Post dinner, we strolled around the hood a little before heading to the car. I was stuffed.

They were looping about on the little tree strumps, for giggles. Made me laugh.

 

We headed home, still stuffed, and I was close to knocking out for the night... and the very secretive kids then declared, "MOMMY WE HAVE ANOTHER SURPRISE FOR YOU"

 

Another cake on my birthday to end the day

Everyone was too stuffed to eat the cake by this time (except for the bits of chocolate the kids picked at) but I do appreciate the thought. I have a thing that cake is a must on birthdays, and I know the husband - if nothing at all - will try to fulfill this.

It was a simple day, but I give thanks for every bit of love that came my way. Turning 3-6? Always fine as I am supported by the love from my family and friends all around me.

Feeling the love - my birthday gifts

I didn't receive much gifts this year, and actually, if I think back, I probably don't really receive much of them anymore anyway. So any of them really make me feel happy, because it is testament of people who care and that in itself is precious. The first set of gifts I received was from the sister and her fiance. Knowing me as well as they do, they gifted me with a complete new set (top and bottom) of new gear from a French manufacturer! The quality is great and the neon yellow is stunning!

 

Trying out my new gear... and mini-Superman

 

Special mention here that not only did I receive the gifts, the sweet couple even headed their not once, but twice to help me change the size so that it'd be a good fit on me. I love the print on the tights!

 

Thank you my sweet sister and the fiance!

 

The next gift I received was from my girlfriend, who is always thoughful with her gifts. It came in a beautiful container that I can recycle, a lovely hand-written note (her writing it still the same from high school till today!), a bottle of oil "Inspiration" (how apt. Can never have enough of that) and a customised notepad with my name!

 

Especially for me

#countingmyblessings

March school holidays: the kids go to Sentosa

After a lunch hour of fun with their friends and I, the kids were in for a real treat. The indulgent grandparents brought them both out for a whole day. They were picked up at 8+am, and only home about 6pm... that's a full day out! I am so thankful for the help and love from my parents, as they spoil the kids on these little adventures that mean the world to them - and me.

 

So, they spent the day at Sentosa, our little island of fun-fare. I have no good pictures to share, but here are some verbatims from the children:

 

"We are going to take cable car!"

 

"We sat on the horse and it was so fun!"

 

"We shoot and shoot you know, then the horse (.. incoherance...) you know?!"

 

"We didn't go to the water park. Cos it was too hot."

"I was so tired I took a nap. But only for a while then I have energy to play again."

 

"We had ICE-CREAM!"

 

"We played SO many times you know?!"

 

"It was SUPER FUN"

 

"Mommy! See we have CABLE CAR WATER BOTTLE!"

The kids obviously had a blast, and it really made me feel less guilty ... that they did go out in the sun to have fun while they could. And just as a parting shot, here's a picture of their extravagant toy/bottle gifted from their nainai.

Cable water-bottles - his and hers

March school holidays: visit to LEGO office

I did not take any leave this week. I guess good things do happen if you think hard enough about it because on a chance basis, a girlfriend and I developed a genius plan where she'd help pick my kids from home and bring them to the office for a lunch hour visit. This means that the children get shuttled to and from home safely, and they also get to play outside of home, I do not need to apply for leave and I also get to see them and have lunch with them for a good solid hour. Hooray!

 

 

Q, K, J, E

 

After a hearty lunch of chicken rice tapau-ed, we began the exploration of the office. My children have been here before, but the boys hadn't and it was a great experience to show them everything and have observe them and their reaction to the office. I am always reminded of how amazing a work space I have each time a fresh pair of eyes come in to view it.

 

We then spent a good solid amount of the hour at this brick wall. It's Easter soon, so we built a rabbid rabbit to add to the Easter-themed wall.

 

RABBID

 

Proud little builders

 

I noticed that J had lost interest in helping out with the main piece, and although K did help out, I also noticed that she was building something else on the side.

Take note of the cluster of random bricks in the middle (beside the unfinished egg)

I asked J what he was building and he honestly replied, "I did not help with the rabbit. I build my own thing. It is a football field (left) and garden (right)."

Why is it so colourful, baby?

"I wanted rainbow so there is a bit of rainbow there and there in my football field and my garden".

I am so proud of him - for his own imagination - he did build a few of his favourite things (football) and I wonder if he managed to gather all similar coloured yellow bricks, or if it was indeed random? Regardless, I always love to hear his artistic interpretation as it shows how his mind works.

K's L-E-G-O

K wanted to build something "on-theme" I guess, and went with the safe brand name of LEGO. In between helping out with the rabbid build, she went about to fix this L-E-G-O. What I felt was commendable in her efforts, was that she was stumped at how to fix the letter "G". There was a "G" that someone had already built on the wall and I told K to mimic it. I am very pleased with how her final output looked!

The children left soon after and I went back to work.

It was a nice day!

Hope #parentingstruggle part 2

After my jolting lesson about temper management, it had been a pretty good month of conscious holding back before tipping point, resulting in no yelling at the children! It had been fantastic - as I deem that yelling at the children is not the best demonstration of my behaviour to them, yet despite knowing that, I had not been behaving well at all. So this month of mindful holding back and not yelling is an achievement for me. Like, a major one.

 

However, the record broke last week. Bleargh.

 

Truth is, I know it always starts with me, so let me lay that out first. I lost it over hanyu pinyin and a very distracted child who was absolutely not paying attention. *insert frustrated emoticon with nostrils emitting smoke

 

In retrospect, I could already identify pain points leading up to the outburst, but I stubbornly refused to acknowledge the right moment to stop. Instead, I doggedly pushed on, then snapped and frightened the daughter, made her cry... I was disappointed with myself, because I was doing so well. Did I beat myself over it? A little, but not enough to give up on this mission to improve my temper and our relationship.

 

After the episode, I calmed down and I started to cry. I sniffed and I explained to K that there were several things that's happened recently that is really getting to me.

 

1) Her lack of ambition and poor attitude towards school work

I asked her why she doesn't take pride in her work, choosing to rush through things and deliver mediocre work.

Her lack of attention during class and while doing her work is so evident (!) - there was one whole page that was empty where she obviously did not even bother to fill in or totally missed out (sigh).

The time and effort we spent to practise spelling at home, does not translate to results. She comes home with errors - some of them poor spelling, some of them poor writing that the teacher penalised her for.

 

2) Her lies

It comes in spurts, and a recent huge episode that we discovered was her blatant lying about what she's eaten for recess. She chooses to twist her words and withholds information that doesn't paint a wholistic picture... and when we find out, it's heartbreaking.

 

3) Her general bratty behaviour

I raised to her specific instances where her outright tantrums and bratty responses to the people around her, I told her of how she is perceived when she behaves like that and I also tell her how awful she is during those moments. The eye-rolling, the constant whining and rude demands she makes are all grating traits that upset me.

 

I pleaded with her to consider her own actions, to think about why she has become this way. I also reminded her (tearily) that she is a very sweet, kind child and she should not be behaving this way. I questioned why she has changed so much, and I wondered where my sweet child is.

 

I garnered a reaction from her... first it was horror and fright at my outburst (sigh), then she cried alongside me as I poured my heart out to her. Then as I 'sobered up' from my emotional barrage, she did too and I tried to normalise our evening out by moving on to regular routine like showering and preparing for bed.

 

Then 2 things happened, both unprompted.

 

First, a love note from the girl.

 

K's after-thoughts

I will be a good girl and listen to my teacher in my cl(a)ss. I will be good at home and at school

 

My heart bloomed when I read this from her. I know that my daughter is going through a phase where she's discovering independance and perhaps it's all as much and difficult for her to handle as anything at all... and to uncover this little gem of the sweetness and love from within her... I'm relieved, thankful and happy.

 

The second blessing that happened, right after I read the love note from K, was from the boy.

 

 So, throughout the outburst, the boy was in the room (with doors shut). No doubt he'd have heard me raging too, but by the time he emerged from the room, things had normalised. I also had spent some time with him practising his writing. After we were done, and I was preparing to shower (feeling all deflated and lousy, may I add) I heard the boy ask for a scissors. I yelled at him from the room to use the 'baby scissors' (we're going through some real scissors practise which I have highlighted can only be used under the supervision of an adult) and he hollered back "ok!". Then just before I stepped into the bathroom, he came and handed this to me.

A love note from my boy

I was bemused and asked, "what is this baby?" To which he replied, "I love you Mommy. See I draw the heart by myself". In his original note to me, there was only 1 heart. I never knew he could draw a heart and so, I asked him to show me how he drew the heart all by himself, and he proudly showed me - which explains the final picture.

I explained to him that sometimes, Mommy loses my temper but I will always love the children and he seemed to understand that.

I have some reflections on this:
1) I will continue to practise being in control

2) I am human and sometimes, it's probably fine to let the children know that too

3) My children are sweethearts, underneath their sweat and grime and whine and naughty antics, they are sweet and loving and kind.

4) No matter how I fail in my attempts to become better, my children love me.
This, I think is a point that stresses upon what I mentioned before, of unconditional love. I know that no matter what the children do, how mad I am, I will always love them with my heart. Sometimes, in such moments, I am reminded too that no matter what, they do love me too and that is such a precious reminder that I thank my lucky stars for this amazing form of blessing.

And now, I march on towards better parenting because it's all about learning and the journey, not just about being perfect.. and sometimes, it's these little imperfections that allow such beautiful stories of love to prevail.

My birthday cake #1

Happy birthday, me!

On a super humid and warm Sunday, I was filled to the brim with food and love.

My mother volunteered to cook up a storm for me, suggesting her home-cooked style curry that's always a hit with everyone, and when I requested for her signature mee sua, she obliged in a heartbeat, with zero hesitation.

I received my first birthday cake of this year, and doesn't it just look amazing? Thanks to the sister who helped to organise a birthday gift that is highly practical and super loved, and the cake that made the afternoon of feasting super sweet.

The day finished off with an impromptu dessert session with the brother and his wife, and the husband. A simple affair over mango pomelo, durian paste and black glutinous rice with ice-cream, and light conversation with the people whom I love.

It was a nice day.