Dear Kate

Dear Kate,

I hope you enjoyed the cereal I prepared for you at breakfast.

I hope you enjoyed the visit to the golden arches (I only bring you there now because you cannot eat anything. When you start demanding me to bring you there, however...) - I think you did cos you were so busy taking in the colourful chairs and happy buzz in the place.

I hope you enjoyed Aunty Tanny's company.

I hope you enjoyed the bus ride where you were such a joy, talking to strangers and allowing them to carry you.

I hope you enjoyed the quick visit to baby Q.

I hope you enjoyed the walk we took across Istana Park.

I hope you enjoyed meeting Daddy for dinner.

I know you enjoyed the colourfully fancy soft toy machines.

I hope you enjoyed me distracting you on the car ride home (maybe not so much cos you were pretty grumpy).

I had a pretty good time today. I loved that I was with you throughout the day.
I savour every moment we have together because you are growing up so quickly.

Love forever, Mommy

It's our day again!

There's always a silver lining on every cloud, and despite unhappy stuff going on, there will always be the happy bits too.

Today, I am home and I have a day ahead with my Kate.

Yabadabadoooooooooooooooo

Three events

Don't want to dwell too much on these event, but I want to make a record that they happened.


1. Disagreeing to agree on Kate's diet

This is the nicest way I can think of how to label this event that took place last weekend. It was painful (still is), difficult, necessary and very tiring.

Is it so difficult to understand and practise respect?



2. Allergy

Poor Kate reacted poorly to egg-whites. An unsuspecting elderly fed her some half-boiled egg-white and she broke out in a patchy rash around her mouth. She also vomitted and had diarrhea twice. I was not around to witness these horrid reactions, but serendipitiously, the husband was and relayed that 1. her vomit was "not funny, like an adult's"; 2. she behaved well and seemed totally oblivious to the fact that she was vomitting/unwell.


I'm glad and grateful that the husband was around yesterday to handle the situation (quick visit to the pediatrician) and assure me - who was unable to respond even to phone calls immediately as I was involved at work - that everything was fine. And it was. I gave Kate extra cuddles when I saw her yesterday night.

And the husband was right. She behaved very normally as if she hadn't had a bout of allergy reaction! Am very proud of my strong baby.



3. Caring for Kate

The MIL is the primary care-taker of Kate while the husband and I are at work. Two days ago she injured her back and is unable to look after Kate properly as she's now unable to lift heavy things (carry Kate). This is a bummer to the husband and I as we have to make provisions among ourselves to care for Kate. The husband has taken 3 days off and it's my turn coming Friday.

This sudden occurance made me realise that the husband and I hadn't made any contingencies for such situations. Makes me very grateful again, that the husband is such a supportive and hands-on Daddy; and that life is truly different with a baby (it never fails to strike me each time I think about it - and I've already been struck many times!)

Such is life.

Beautiful experience

She'd tired of feeding and was rolling around on the bed. She thumped her arms on the bed. She wriggled and rotated her entire body like a clock. She finally settled on a particular spot and rested her legs on my hip bone.

She laid still and stared up in the ceiling, where the night light shone.

I watched her staring.

Her body was still and the only movement was her tiny chest moving up and down rhythmically as she took tiny baby breaths. She blinked, and continued staring at the light.

Her blinks got slower, lasted longer and she seemed to be taking her sweet time to open and close her eyelids.

I watched her fight sleep. Her lids flew open.
She didn't move though, just continued to stare.. and blink.

And then her eyes closed and stayed shut.

My baby had fallen asleep.

It was the first time I observed her go to sleep and it was the most beautiful experience. I'm not sure if my words give justice to how I felt, but the moment was intimate and priceless.

I enjoyed it thoroughly and even as I'm reliving the moment through words, an indescribable warmth and joy fills my heart as I think to myself, "that's my baby and I love her too much."

Dear Kate

Dear Kate,

Thank you for being the loveliest little person in the world.

You have taught me humility, patience and unconditional love.

You have made me re-think my perspectives and priorities in life. You make me treasure familyship; and I appreciate time alot more. You have taught me that being angry over split milk is useless, stressing over the unknown wastes energy and it is much more constructive to talk calmly over matters and focus on moving ahead to fix things.

You make me happy, you make my heart melt. You bring new meaning to my life. You make me love Daddy more. You bring such joy to my life.

Happy 7th month my baby.

I love you, Mommy

Teeth!

A week ago, I saw that there was a tiny hole in Kate's gums.

She's been salivating for months and been shoving everything into her mouth to chew in a bid (this is my guess) to ease her sore/itching gums. So I wasn't surprised (in fact, quite relieved) that there was progress.

Last night, I checked to see if there was any progress and instead of a hole, I could actually see teeth! How terribly exciting! I tried to take a pic but it was near impossible (she is fidgety as we know). Add the fact that I don't have a proper camera, this is the best I got.

Not that you can see the tooth due to the bad resolution of the picture, but it is there. I just had to take a picture to commemorate that my baby has teeth!

Time out

I was talking to my best friend for the past 15 years and she sounded rather wistful that I was so tied up with my life. She understands that my priorities have changed but I sensed something from her voice that I was perhaps just a little too holed up. I immediately offered to spend my day off with her and I was very happy to make those plans.

This got me thinking that life should still go on despite having a child. It is not about losing yourself, it is not about neglecting your family, it is about finding balance.

The husband goes to play soccer once mid-week. He also aims to play tennis every Sunday morning. These time-pockets of exercise keep him happy. I too, wish to have a regulated exercise regime, but I guess I know that now is not the right time. I’m not resentful that I have to be around Kate a lot more than the husband (he isn’t the one breastfeeding) but I am aware that I too, want my own time.

I am fortunate to have help around – my mother, my mother-in-law and my husband are all willing and able to babysit Kate for the occasion when I want to head out; and for that I am extremely grateful. I am a lucky girl.

In a couple of hours’ time, I will be out with my best friend and Kate. I already know that the session will do a whole lot of good to all 3 of us.

When the husband goes away

So, the husband is away for 2 weeks. (Well, less than that since he left 4days ago). It's been manageable thus far and I'm very happy that things are less hectic at work, which allows me to leave work punctually and head home early. So far, the routine has been the same the past 3 nights.

I'll arrive home before 8pm, have dinner, shower and have Kate in the room with me by 9pm. I'll change her into her pyjamas and we'll do some reading, some classroom-time, some exercises and some play.

Reading: her favourite reading material is a Nursery Rhymes book.

Spot the nursery rhymes book

I suspect it's the illustration, colours and yellow background that captures her attention. She doesn't really allow me to do much reading, per se. What actually happens is that I'll flip to a random page and start reading. She'd then poke her 2nd finger on the page (she usually points at the illustrations, interrupting me trying to point at the words in an attempt to make her understand those are words that I'm pointing at and reading aloud) and within seconds, try to flip the book shut. As the book is hardcover, she hasn't quite mastered how to flip the paper-pages. Rather, it's easier for her to hold the cover of the book and shut it.

Nursery rhyme

Classroom time: Since her 3rd or 4th month, we invested in a DVD that teaches reading. The video is a series of words and a demonstration of what the word is in hope that the child will pick up the meaning of the word as well as be able to identify it.

Example, the word wave flashes on the screen. The voiceover repeats it twice and the screen flashes to a child waving. The voiceover then says "Ashley is waving at you".

I spotted the same module's flash cards a month ago, and decided to purchase it. I never really used it until the last 2 nights. I'd flash the cards to Kate and hold a classroom session with her. I'm not sure how beneficial these classroom time is for Kate (both the DVD and live versions), but I quite enjoy doing something with and for her.

Exercise: On our holiday to Perth, I met up with some old friends and one of them has a son who's about 18months old. Jo shared with me that she'd allowed her son to roll around and hurt himself in the process of learning, and that expedited his psychomotor development. She'd let him experience and experiment on the carpet floor.

Now I'd never thought about how Kate was going to start crawling, but what Jo shared made alot of sense. Kate wasn't going to pick up crawling anytime soon if we only allowed her to sit and be carried! With this new nugget tucked in my brain, I'm more conscious to allow Kate to roll-around at home. We don't have carpets in Singapore, but we can lay mattresses, playmats or allow Kate more time on the bed.

It might be a coincidence, but look how well Kate's faring these 2 nights.

Here's not a fantastic picture but the only one I've got of Kate in what I believe is her very-early-stages of learning to crawl. Her face is splat on the bed and she hasn't learnt to use her hands so she's just figuring out that she can use her legs to push forward.. so the only bit that really moves is her butt upwards. It's so terribly cute!

Butts up!

Play: finally, what every kid enjoys most, play.

I must admit that Kate does not associate me with play. She'll respond to Grandma, the husband, gu-po and xiao-peh ... even gugu and yiyi.. because they make faces and play with her. Me on the other hand, usually provide for her so she seeks me for food and sleep.

It is such a thrill to play simple silly games like peek-a-boo to tease a gurgle or two from her.

And that is how I spend my time without the husband.

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w e d d i n g m o m e n t s

family.

jean out. hurr hurr

Epiphany

All boogers feel the same. Ok I know it sounds gross, but this struck me just now as I was helping Kate clear her nose.

It then made me think of how reliant little ones are and there's a reason why babies are made that way. Without them being 100% dependant on their parents, parents won't truly understand how hard life can be. It wouldn't be as precious if hard work needn't be put in. It wouldn't be as fulfilling if anyone could do it. Parenting is one of those things where you cannot truly be prepared no matter how hard you try to prep for it and it'd always be an uphill learning curve at every step along the way from the day you discover that you're pregnant to the day you die - your child will always be your child.

This is why some people say that you never really grow up until you have a child and it's largely because you truly experience, learn and understand responsibility.

On a side note, to the husband who is travelling for the first time since Kate was born, we'll be missing you everyday. Please be careful and enjoy yourself. Love.

Perth 20 to 29 March 2010

3 days after coming home, I'm still on a post-holiday high.
Happiness!