Parenting 101 - a practical lesson

She looked at me forlornly. Her mouth turned downwards and chin quivered. She burst into tears then leaned her body towards me and put her arms out, wanting me to carry her.

My heartstrings pull even as I recall this scene that took place last Saturday.
It was the first time I scolded Kate. A proper stern one, and I even smacked her tiny little hands.

It was necessary, as I had to educate her about the perils of pulling at electrical wires. But it didn't make it easy nor was it fun. It was the first time I raised my voice and scolded her. Watching her face crumble as she realised that she had done something unacceptable was heart-wrenching. My heart bled a little; but I held firm. I kept repeating my message to her and I kept my tone and face fierce and firm.

This first time hurt my insides like hell and it took me all restrain I could muster to not hug her and tell her 'everything's alright'. It actually took my breath away to see her face crumble at what I'd done, to see her tears fall.

I learnt that day was that my daughter understands. At 8months and 2weeks old, Kate knows that she's done wrong, she understands pain and unacceptable behaviour; she understands that she's done something bad and seeks comfort.

This first practical lesson on parenting was tough. And I'll bet that it doesn't get any easier after. But I also know (and I keep reminding myself) that it is all a necessary process.

1.5hours

That's how much time I had to myself last night. I spent the time reading.

True, it's not exciting like a night out and reading may not seem sound particularly enticing, but I had a great time.

I haven't gone out for many after-work social appointments (other than the odd and few work occasions), and I don't typically head anywhere else but home after work.

This is a choice that I'm making and the way I see it, it's only a temporary phase as Kate is only little once and I'd hate to miss out on time with her at this stage where she's so dependant.

I don't find motherhood burdensome or tedious. It is very tiring, but thoroughly fulfilling.

But because it is also extremely time-consuming tending to the needs and wants of a baby, I treasure and enjoy time to myself.

And all that time to myself, all 1.5hours of it was absolute bliss.

Just so you know...

The husband and I like watching Kate sleep. I cannot begin to describe what it is that we so like, nor how I feel as I watch her, but I smile at at how she may have drool at the corner of her mouth, I sigh with happiness as I think (for the 3,007th time) how beautiful she is, and I marvel that my heart hasn't burst with all the love that's filled within.

Last Saturday evening, as the husband and I were engaged in this common activity we love, he said,

I wish God will capture this snapshot and share it with her next time.

So she'll know how much we love her.

My heart skipped a beat at his loving words and the lovely thought.

Sleeping Kate at 6 weeks old

This is tons better if it were...

... framed by the husband and Kate.

Some evenings, they walk me home from the station and I'm always thrilled to see them. Some occasions (two), it was the best surprise to see them appear at the end of the corridor, unexpected.

It's a fantastic welcome after a day's work.

Dear Kate

Dear Kate,

I believe that you're a lot more comfortable in this world by now, pretty much as comfortable as Daddy and I are with you in our lives. The initial period was pretty tough (especially the first 3 months) but it seems a lifetime ago that we had those trying moments. Each day, you pick up and display new skills and expressions, never ceasing to amaze and warm my heart.

Your latest trick is to 'clap your hands' and it's very amazing to see you responding to us by smiling, crying, holding your hands out wanting us to carry you... I'm always proud that you seem to know not to bite me when feeding (though you still do sometimes) but on the whole I believe that you do understand what I tell you and if you do not obey, it's more to lack of desire to care than not knowing!

You're also honing your crawling skills and your leopard crawl is slightly more proficient now. Wonder when you'll learn to use your arms to support your upper body weight so that you can move alot quicker than pulling your whole body along!

You've always loved to stand and since you've learnt to sit 2 months ago, you're always trying to stand up. You are able to do so on your own now and it was an astonishment how you weren't able to do so one day and could do so the very next! *beams the proud Mommy

We celebrated my first Mothers' Day and it was rather emotional for me. Though we didn't do anything much as a family (as Daddy you and I were under the weather) and you gifted me with fever, it was still a great day as Daddy (and you) got me my first Mothers' Day bouquet and it's absolutely fantastic that I'm qualified to celebrate this occasion now. Yay!

You have 2 teeth now and I believe you're sprouting more as you're still gnawing at everything in sight and the salivating is not getting any better. I've also received comments that you look thinner - it may be due to the fact that your appetite was affected when you were ill last week, but it's probably also because you have grown taller and the weight's better distributed. I'm rather looking forward to your next doctor's visit so we can weigh and measure your growth!

You're eating your cereals and porridge well and I'm very happy that you enjoy your fruits too. I wish you'd drink more water though as it is so important to be well-hydrated. Your eating habits seem to mirror mine as I see you enjoying biscuits very much! By now, you are eating porridge with pork, chicken or fish, you eat vegetables (chopped up), you eat papaya, apple, pear, banana, kiwi and strawberry. You also eat all kinds of cereal - rice, barley and oats.

You're an absolute joy to have around and I cannot imagine life without you. Being a mother is the most tiring, fulfilling and loving job I've ever had.

I love you always, Baby K. Happy 8 months.

Love, Mommy

Me time

Kate's less than a week shy of 8-months old and on a special-drive-to-work with the husband today (special because we don't normally get to spend mornings together as we usually head in different directions at different times), I said to the husband "I think I'm ready to do my own thing on weekdays."

He didn't get it initially.

I had to explain to him that ever since I've become a mother, I've never had the urge to want to do my own thing, especially on weekday nights. Sure, I've wanted to go for facials, I wanted to meet my friends, I wanted to go swimming - but these things that I want to do I've always ensured to schedule them on weekends or on my days off - and they usually are in the day time. I can count the number of times I've gone off to do my own thing at night - it's mostly date nights with the husband, or work affairs. I've not scheduled dinners with friends, doing the after-work catch-up which I used to do.

I think it's healthy to do my own thing and they are important as they keep me happy, but truth is I never really wanted to as I do prefer to come home to spend time with Kate. I still largely prefer to devote most of my time to her, so I never resent my time away from other things I wish to do. I just need little pockets of time and a few preferred activities that will keep me satisfied.

I've never wanted to be anywhere else than with Kate when I am with her, so I never resent my duties, ever. I love her so much that the sacrifices all come pretty naturally. I'm thankful that I feel this way because I wouldn't want it any other way. But with this realisation shared with the husband, I think I'm ready to be more independant, to become a little more of me.

It is now 4.42pm

and I miss my baby. Boo.

On another note, Kate learnt how to clap her hands yesterday! *beams the proud Mommy

Time to chat

The husband and I had a chat last night.

Before Kate, that statement would have seemed like it was a bad thing, as if the husband and I were going through something major, or had a need to iron out something serious.

Now, it means just that. We had a chat last night.

We talked about silly things, about not-so-silly things, about work, about Kate, about many things. We laughed. And we caught up with each other (in hushed whispered tones so as not to disturb sleeping Kate).

Having a baby consumes so much of your time that sometimes, even finding time to talk to each other is overshadowed by the necessities in life.

Our exchanges are typically short and informative "what time did Kate eat?"; "her nose is still leaky"; "please shower for her before it's too late"; "how'd she get that red mark on her face?"; she's tired, lights off please"....

I love how, after 2 years+ of being married, the husband and I still talk to each other. True, it's not as often as before, but that's because we channel our time to the little person that we created out of love. That's pretty special too, isn't it?

The good, the bad and more

The good
Kate has since recovered from her fever. She took medication for 3 days - cold medicine, fever medicine and nose-decongestion-athingy - and though she was still abit cranky, she's been recovering well. Yay!

The bad
She's passed the virus to the husband and I. On Saturday, both the husband and I had sore throats. My body didn't take too good to the attack and by night, I had full blown fever. It was horrible! It's been a while since I fell sick and I was pretty unwell, to say the least. Went to the doc's yesterday and got safe (for bfeeding) medicine for the body aches, fever and cold. I can only imagine how horrid poor Kate felt while she had this virus. The husband is still fighting a sore throat, whilst I'm home on sick leave today and feeling better.

Miscelleneous
1. Despite the virus, I thoroughly enjoyed myself having brunch with the sister and the bf (before I collapsed and in the sister's words "you look like crap"). We went to a new place to try their brunch and it was pretty good. The food was a bit better than average, the service could be better, the deco was very interesting, the company was fantastic and it was overall very pleasant. The pictures taken from the day were amazing! (Thanks to the bf)

There are too many pics to share, but here are some of my favourites.

Let's do this again!

Kate with her one-brow lift


Family

K shopping and being shopped

2. Mothers' day

Needless to say, as I was sick, it wasn't an exciting 1st Mothers' Day celebration for me. However, I received many wishes from different people and it is indeed rather exciting to be qualified to celebrate this occasion. The husband was very sweet and got me a bouquet of flowers. I'm still waiting to read the 'card' he wrote (in draft) but hadn't shared with me.

3. Yucky weather

This is rather irrelevant to any happenings, but I just had to document that the weather lately has been truly shitty. Blah. The relevance, if any, will be that it's this shitty weather that's making everyone fall sick.

To end off, here's a very nice picture of my 7-month-3-week-old baby.

38 degrees celcius

Kate has a temperature!

She was already phlegmy and grouchy last night and this morning, she had a leaky nose. I received a call at 1pm today and MIL said that her temperature was 38.1!

Together with the FIL, she brought Kate to the doctor's and Kate's been given flu meds.

Apparently she's still chirpy and happy (versus bed-ridden ill) so I'm glad and very relieved.

It was very tough for me to stay calm whilst waiting for the doctor's diagnosis. The husband was equally anxious and it was probably worse for him as it was not even conducive for him to take calls.

This is the first time Kate's had a fever and it's rather unpleasant.

Saying goodbye is hard (even if it's for 10 hours)

Each morning, it breaks my heart to have to bid my little girl goodbye when I leave home to go to work.

I always hold her, hug her and tell her that I'm going to work, and I'll be back as soon as I can to be with her again. And I finish it off with many kisses.

I'm coping a million times better now than when I first headed back to work - where I'd literally be near tears.

Kate has her good and not-so-good days.
Sometimes, she'd be so distracted with something (toy, noise, furniture - who knows what goes on in the brain of a 7-month-old?!) that she barely gives me a glance as I step out.
Sometimes, like this morning, she'd sense that I was going out and cry when I left without her.

I realise that she usually reacts more poorly on Mondays.
I suspect it's because we'd just spent alot of time together over the weekend, and she feels more attached to me?
What clever creatures they are, these little ones!

But yeah, it is hard to say goodbye to her. I always miss her.