I do not consider myself a Tiger Mom. I am more of what I call, a "reactive" parent. I pretty much allow my children to lead their lives how they are, with no push to engage them in multiple enrichment classes, etc. Two years ago, I signed K up for our (I say our because when a child is engaged in classes, it's not just him/her. It is a collective effort of the parents too) first enrichment class. I did so, because I found her lacking in her knowledge of the alphabets/reading. And that began our "enrichment" journey (oh, the irony of how these classes are meant to be enriching at the expense of real life).
Approximately a year ago, I signed the boy up for Mandarin classes. This was from the horrifying discovery that he had zero mandarin vocabulary, and it'd be of true value for him to learn mandarin.
In the past 6 months, since K started primary school, I have discovered that these so-called "enrichment" classes that so many parents sign their children up for, are no longer seemingly enriching. They seem to become a basic norm and necessity, as it prepares the child better for the gruelling school life. It's not easy, I say, not at all.
Since Jan, K has been put on 2 extra classes - a mandarin class, and I also hired a home tutor to help her with her work. It's extra coaching, but it's also necessary to help me alleviate the need to supervise K as she starts to learn discipline and initiate completing her homework unguided, or with a tutor (for days when both the husband and I are busy at work), or with this tutor.
In this discovery and process, I started to buy more workbooks for K to attempt, in a bid to expose her more practise in hope that it'd help her along acadamically. While I was at the bookstore about a month ago, I decided (on a whim) to get some books for J too. Not so much that he needed any homework, but to inculcate the discipline to sit down to clear something in concentration.
An observation I made, is that the children - at moments - do begin to work on their stuff. When they do, I feel so happy and relieved that they have initiative. That is a skill that I cannot enforce (there is a limit, at least to how much I can really do). J, in particular, is spurred to practise his ABCs himself on occasions when I sit K down to do school work.
Yesterday evening, we chanced upon a moment where I asked J to write the letters he'd been practising. To my absolute delight, the work he's put in has paid off. I am one proud mother!
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| A to V |
While I am going through this stage, I am mindful that I wish to (a) accomplish the minimum so that my daughter can pull through and learn, expand her mind so that she is educated and knowledgeable; (b) learns discipline and understands routine, responsibilities and fulfillment of her tasks (c) that we do not have too much negative energy around the bad word "homework"... and a reminder had been circulating around social media lately about how children today are constantly under pressure to over-perform.. and truthfully, I do not need K to be that over-achiever. I wish for her to be a fun-loving, kind, sensible child who does what she needs to and becomes the person she will become.
As for J, he's fortunate in the sense that we are learning from the 'slackness' of K, and he's exposed to more 'work' earlier. How this will benefit us in the long-run is that he is more up-to-speed with what's expected of him in the curriculum (case-in-point his amazing A-to-V!) and will less struggle, should be more comfortable to absorb and perform.
Whichever the case, it's a learning journey for us as parents, for me as a Mom, and for them as children. We will calibrate and make the best we can with one another along the way... we will be fine!
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