Reflections, quarter one, two oh one nine

Last December, I wondered why I only did reflections end of the year. If it felt fulfilling to rewind the moments (of course the good was better but the bad also made the good better), why did I not just do more of it? So, I set monthly reminders - last Saturday of each month, recurring reminders from January to December.


Have I succeeded? Well, the below was a draft I started in January 2019. I did not get around to really sitting down my ass to truly think, and my feeble attempt was to jot down the loose thoughts I had.


January 2019.


1. I shall spend money on experiences, not material things.
2. I shall spend more time with my family - collectively as awesome-foursome; but also individually (alone with the husband and daughter and son) to have quality time together.
3. Read books
4. Continue with consistent exercise - HIIT / yoga / running
5. Take up a course - I'm considering a yoga-certification, or a personal trainer certification course
6. Save money


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I remember thinking that it was just not good enough. I did not have enough real thoughts, that it felt lame to just toss those out as they were just a list of my resolutions.


Today is the last day of March. I realise that perfect can be over-rated. What is a perfect composition/post? Also, so much happens that the point of me reminding myself to reflect regularly is to just capture all that had happened; so it is not necessary for drama. I also think I did not bother enough to reflect. So, here goes... I'll start with my list.


Spending on experiences, not material things.
I think I did fine on this. Truth be told, I did spend on some things. I got some new underwear, and skincare for myself, I also bought clothes for the children. I also have purchased groceries relentlessly - woe be to (too much) convenience of online shopping. I have browsed, ala 'window shopping' online, but never tempted to add to cart or check out. So good job, well done to me.


The husband and I also went for a concert together. It was a pretty understated singer, known to the xin yao folks in the 1990s; and it was enjoyable enough. We then had a bonus night of supper, which has also led us to more adventures of new supper spots in our hood. I hope we continue to do this - again, experience plus time together, win!


Time with family.
I never stopped doing this, but can I do more? Of course.
Our family rolled into a new routine for Saturdays as the husband and I split duties per child to take on activities with them - rugby (new thing) for the boy, homework revision (constant old) with the girl. We paid to watch our first rugby match as a family due to this new interest of the son's, and we will be going for more.
We continue our family meals when we can and Friday evenings with the family is truly the best way to launch into the weekend.
The relationship with the girl can be better, as we seem to spend (too much) time discussing and fighting over work. The boy is adapting well into primary school and is pretty much a breeze to handle around academics.
The husband and I have a pretty clockwork system of taking a child to school each on most days and it is working out well.


I have not done time alone too much with the children, and the movie tickets are still in the house somewhere, unused. Gotta use them soon!


Reading and exercising
The former is going a bit slow, the latter is going well. I have read some books, but lost the reading zest as I couldn't find more palatable books to consume. I'm currently re-reading a book from Jodi Picoult which I have read before; but because it is kinda moody and super touching to the core; it suits my pensive mood and so I am on it. May I constantly find good reads and have the luck to get sucked into the world of whatever it is.


Just took my stats at the gym 2 days back and it read pretty much 95% the same as end Jan, so I guess I'm doing well. I still get my cravings (which usually results in cravings 1 - self-discipline 0). The husband lamented that I was very skinny, and so I guess it is mostly my mind playing tricks than actually how much I look, so I shall not complain and be thankful that I have a healthy and fit body to keep active.


Take up a course / saving
I was considering a Personal Trainer course - I went as far as to write in to enquire about a course; spoke to a girlfriend about it but it has come to nothing. I cannot commit to it.
I also considered a yoga certification, and went as far as to a yoga clinic which talked me through the course, schedule... my take-away was that I think that school is not bad and I quite liked the yoga teacher, but again, I cannot commit.


A part of it all was money (which I wanted to save) but truth is I think it is just not a priority enough for me. It all takes time away from my family and I think I am ok to drop this thought this year. My want to be with the family is greater than the need for my certification; so I will park this guilt-free. I shall continue to keep active so that I can still find my happiness in sweating out on my own, or with the trustworthy apps/sites that has been keeping me in good company.


Saving up - I am trying, and I am also spending. We are parking aside good money for our travel plans this year, so I am willingly putting it aside. One clear area of improvement is in the grocery department, so I'll see how I manage that better.


There. Nothing too hard, nothing too exciting, and I've done a quick check against how I am achieving and it has been not too bad at all.


Now, for the hard, gritty part.


Three weeks ago, I celebrated my birthday. It started with meals with colleagues & family, a much-desired massage that helped with my stiff neck & shoulders, flowers, beach time and dinner with my closest, day with the kids and I collected pictures which I wanted to post and commemorate me turning 39. That day turned out to be truly memorable, in a very unexpected way.
I believe 18 March will always hold a different for me hereon.


The days that followed were dark and sad, and I was in a space that I had nearly forgotten of. Years ago, the macabre and dramatic June dwelled in that space pretty often (unhealthily so) and I was thrown back into those days of darkness. My sense of self-worth was very low, and I only managed to get through the days because I much preferred to pretend that all was well, and because the kids were priority. Having to support and take them through their days like clockwork made it helpful to move along; but I was in a very bad space.


The husband and I had a hard talk some days later and it has now been 3 weeks. Things are better, way better but I definitely learnt some good lessons.

• I learnt that my priorities are my husband and children and there is no need to test this in any form.
• I learnt that I can be such an idiot because I am so dumb sometimes and that hurt. It hurts a lot but I am willing to suck it up because my top priorities are important enough for me to face my ugly.
• I learnt that when I say that I am 'sad', it is probably real in some form but in the real deal when I was truly sad for those long-short-painful days, facing possible loss was the real deal; something that I am glad I have fleetingly experienced but not needed to dwell more on.
• I learnt that respect is under-rated and I can show it more to those who I truly respect.
• I learnt that love can be enough sometimes, just enough to get by.

I am in a good space today and I am so thankful for so much.

2019

A whole year (& a bit more) has passed since my last entry.


I have an incomplete draft on one of my biggest athlete achievements from December 2017; and 2018 had been pretty eventful.... including

• Surviving Primary 3 (shaky and challenging)
• Graduating from Kindergarten
• Husband's national achievement during National Day
• Getting promoted
• Moving into our new home
• Blessed with two babies into our family

These are on top of the easily-taken-for-granted-things like family, eating meals, exercising, little laughs.... all very important too.


I didn't intend to write. I haven't visited my blog for months and I have been spending too much time browsing social media for no reason at all. A random occurrence two days back had the sister ask, "why are you blogging?" (when I wasn't); but maybe that's how things are meant to be.. they happen for one tiny reason and was seeded in my brain and seemingly, as if for no specific reason, I set at this table and opened up my blog and decided that why not, pen something, a start for 2019.


So, a few resolutions (I say that with hesitation because I view it more as, continuous improvement; or things that always matter than a 'new start' per se):


1. I shall spend money on experiences, not material things.
2. I shall spend more time with my family - collectively as awesome-foursome; but also individually (alone with the husband and daughter and son) to have quality time together.
3. Read books
4. Continue with consistent exercise - HIIT / yoga / running
5. Take up a course - I'm considering a yoga-certification, or a personal trainer certification course
6. Save money


Nothing revolutionary (except, maybe for the certification); and they are pretty similar to what I set out to do year on year.


It's all about the positive mindset we set off with to achieve. Let's go, 2019.

Kids dash #SCSM2017

It's 2 December and the day of the Kid's Dash! The children skipped this run for 3 years, since their first / previous experience in 2014. Look at how teeny J was then!


This year, the t-shirts finally fit them both (I got them the same size) and being the seasoned racers they are, we left for their run with not just bibs on, but game faces too!

Roads were so packed. We strolled to our start point.

It was manic madness! There was no scheduled starts despite the organiser's best intents and by the time we got through, it was a mishmash of everyone who signed up for the run. It was a good mix of children running with parents / sans parents though, and I wonder if the kids will be fine to do so independently next time. After squeezing through crowds and crowds, we waited in the holding area.

Superhero and Princess

SCSM 2017!

One with my princess

Team boy - the hanging bunting's kinda cute

By the time it was our turn to get into the real start pen, the skies were dark.

Finally, we can see the start line.

Her nervous face

His excited face (he has been raving about wanting
to "run on the road" since forever before!)

The children made it to the front of our pen's starting line and it was so amusing to see them all excited/nervous/raring to go. J even wanted to do a proper runner's start (akin in a race on the tracks) and we had to tell him to chill. The husband and I devised a plan for him to race after J as he would be super quick, and me to run after K.


When the bell went off, the kids all DASHED! K really surprised us as she totally took off! They were so super speedy that I lost K for the first 50m of the race. I was able to catch sight of the husband then traced J in front of him speedily; and at some point we switched roles quickly for me to trail J and him to race after K. Phew, I felt all giddy from the stress of being cramped with the crowds, sticking close to the family and taking off so suddenly. I managed to snap some video of J doing what he does best, hi-fiving people for encouragement/fun; he picked this up from our past experiences at races and he does so love to do it. I think he just loves jazzing it up and passing on the love. What an extrovert.


The kids felt accomplished after the race and I made it a deal that they received their very own medals! Then just before we stepped out of the race zone for dinner, we had to take this family shot.

With my champions, on the roads, Xmas season - life is good!

The kids were on such a high after, recounting their race over and over; us giggling over their antics and moments that made them laugh/excited/annoyed.


They also enjoyed drinking H20 ("after exercise can drink this u'noe!") as they felt entitled to it. Ha! So adorbs. As always, it is such a pleasure and joy introducing the children to the fun dash. They are already so used to playing with devices that I am thrilled that they still seek joy in wanting to partake in such runs/outdoor physical activities. It will be impossible to limit/not have them play with devices, but I hope that the husband and I act as good role models for them to at least still appreciate and yearn for outdoor play.


This ends the race that they were looking forward to, and they did so well! I'm so proud of my little champs!

Day 8: bye bye Japan

In a blink of an eye, we have come to the last day of our #happyfamilyinjapan holiday. Oh, good times fly by indeed. On this morning, we decided to take it easy. Breakfast was on our own - the girl went to Maccas with the grandparents; the boy and I headed out to seek food while the husband finished packing up.

Pre-coffee

Beams

Because he let me get coffee first, I let him choose his breakfast (Maccas bleargh)

On the way back (we tapaued everything because we needed to feed the husband too), we spotted a role model in the form of a local Japanese man. Look at his choice of beverage - this was at 10am in the morning! Given our running count of beer through the holiday, I had to sneak a snap and share it with my fellow beer-chuggers.

Breakfast beverage - beer.

A worthy team-mate for sure.

We checked out of the hotel and made our way to stroll down the street to Tokyo Tower. It was less than 30minutes away and while it was pretty hot, I thought it was way better than rain. Off we went.

Papa-girl duo.

Tokyo Tower spotted! But first, the shrine

Blessings

We strolled through the shrine compounds for a while and then made it around it through to the main sight.

Upclose

The truth is, we drove past this on Mario-day. But I guess it's not the same if we did not step foot within it.

Ticket

Mascot

Up on the tower!

Peeking all the way down

On a very clear day, we could possibly see Mount Fuji (we didn't that day)

It was a touristy event that I guess is apt for our last day in this country, and I tried to spot as much as I could with the help of maps they provided. We finished off this episode with our last Cremia.... I recall not being hungry at all but it felt like something we needed to do for no-reason at all but just because we could (ice-cream at anytime on a holiday? Checked!)


We made it back to the hotel on foot (coffee stop on the way) and began our adventure to the airport. We had to lug all our luggage with us from hotel to subway to change another subway train then the airport. No pictorial evidence of how we looked (maybe a good thing? though similar pictorial references can be seen from our last luggage commute) but we made it. All luggage and humans were not harmed in the process of commuting. Woot!


At the airport, we checked in our luggage (WE REALLLY MADE IT!) and it was time for lunch. There was a difference in preferences, so we split up - which made it easier for us to snag a table too.

Team ramen - the husband, the boy and I.

Keeping him occupied.

Team K with the rest with their choice of Japanese restaurant

After lunch, we met up and went for a stroll within the airport. We headed to a Hello Kitty shop, the boys went to play with some fake planes and the viewing gallery...

Up. Up. And away!

We met a friend at the airport who was on their way back too; how fun. What a pity we didn't plan better so that we could have met them at Disney too. Ah well.


The flight back was uneventful (or maybe I should not wait 2 months over to recap the holiday...) and I think we all came home with full tummies and happy memories.


The trip would not have been made this amazing... if not for...


1) The sister and her busband - they were so active and deserve full credit for planning and suggesting the itinerary
2) Everyone's patience - travelling with kids is never easy and everyone in the group helped share the load of the children which made a difference. I didn't feel too judged for their behaviours (not that they were bad, but it's not the same with children on holidays)
3) Everyone's can-do-attitude - whether it was what we wanted to eat, or do, or play, or go; everyone played a part in contributing (sometimes silence is the best form of contribution) in one way or other. We would not have met our beer count if we didn't all pull our weight (this may rank higher on the pleasurable can-dos); nor would we have had this much laughs if we didn't just go with the flow in the spirit of fun (our Mario adventures was a key highlight for sure and ranks most-talked-about-highest-hits-on-social-media-cos-we-cool-like-that)


I know the children had fun because they had the company of the extended families to play with, they went to Disneyland (even I had fun because the children are old enough to take fun rides - whee!) and it's definitely a check off family to-dos - fun for all, all for fun!


A full recap of our holiday here, from day 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 and 7.

Day 7: Visiting Tsukiji, Shopping and our last night in Tokyo

The plan was for us to have breakfast at Tsukij this morning. Ever since our last visit to Japan, the husband has yearned to be head back to Tsukiji again. So finally, this day has come where we managed to tick this off his want list. After grabbing coffee and feeding the kids some bread (their version of breakfast), the #happyfamilyinjapan crew met at the lobby and headed to the markets. It was just a few stops away from our hotel/train station.

Wandering the stalls

#ootd

Our aim this round was simple - to just eat our way through whatever tickled our fancy! The husband picked one particular hole-in-wall restaurant which had very limited seats, so we split up for a while.

This little boy chose to eat with us

The end

J's rendition of our breakfast situation

Fresh fish = happy boys

We had some sets of fresh, fresh sushi and it felt so amazing to sit on the stool to absorb all the buzz in the area. The chefs all looked rather intimidating as they skillfully packed sushi with their nimble fingers. It still felt a bit much to have raw fish for breakfast, but an experience is an experience so one off the list! After eating, we headed off and ventured to meet with the rest.

Sun up in full glory

Making our way through more food stalls

Reunited! And look how happy everyone is! They were well into their meal; don't let the shabby setting fool you, the food was pure gold!

Happy street-side eaters

Uni, anyone?

Uni. Oysters.

Oh the uni experience

K loves her ikura

Soft-serve

It was so good, we went back for thirds

Grilled seafood goodness

We stayed at our food corner for a (long) while, going through food (some purchases more than once), then finally, when we felt satisfied, moved on to venture other parts of the market we haven't went to yet.

Us in the busy streets

See food, seafood.

Having a moment with her strawberry

This made me smile :) I love watching the children enjoy food!

I cannot remember what they were eating but we ate it all

This walking-around-to-eat journey was very different from what the husband and I experienced before. The highlight then was the auction, this time it was sheer enjoying of food. Having good company made it even better.

Our final stop for sashimi

Seahs at Tsukiji

By then, it was mid-day and the sun was so hot. We were full from an extended brunch and decided to head to the city for some shopping. Off to Shibuya we went.

In front of the busiest crossing in the world

We were at this mall (Hachiko, refer to sister's post for that family pic) and the family split up for some time to just walk about free-and-easy. As the husband and I were not inclined to buy anything, I requested for us to go to the Lindt café that I spied earlier.

Lindt

It was a 4-storey building that sold chocolates and had a bar/cashier on level 1, levels 2 & 3 were seats for diners and level 4 was a toilet. We indulged in some major-chocolate-overloaded beverage (YUM) and spent our hour sitting within, enjoying the cool air-conditioning with our amazingly-tasty choices.

Drawing, researching on what to draw and
look at the chocolate goodness

At the designated time, we met back with the family and headed to group-shot to select places (Adidas, Under Armour, Uniqlo, ....)
So, a funny thing happened at Uniqlo. It was a 3-storey building of Uniqlo, and I had K with me and we were browsing around. We were on L1 when I registered a sound calling my name.... I thought I was imagining it, but I wasn't. I headed to the middle of the stairway, and I looked up into the upper levels and saw my parents waving at me from above.


"We are stuck, we cannot go down!" said the mother.
?!?!?!?!


Turns out, they had taken the escalators up and up, not realizing that the top level was not Uniqlo. It was a level of restaurants which were not open. There was only an escalator leading up and none coming down. So, they were stuck.


I quickly asked help from a staff and - no need for panic- the parents made their way down eventually. After this point, we headed to different places. The sister, her busband and the parents went walking about and ended up at Muji. My family headed to H&M to get clothes for the children.


The boy needed to poop so the husband brought him to locate a loo. The girl and I continued shopping.

Someone very happy with her new cap

As the boy had the runs the day before, I was worried that he was unwell. Turns out that not only was the boy fine, this need to search for a toilet turned out to be a blessing. In this place which had the loo, we also found the Michelin-Star cup noodles which was something we had been hunting for our whole trip in Japan! -cues amazing applause-

Husband and his proud ah-ha moment

Winner winner cup-noodle-winner!

Noodle mules as we made our way to MUJI to look for the rest

The Muji café was quite nice. The whole building was full of Muji stuff from clothes to furniture to café; and I kinda wish I had more time to stroll within. All 4-storeys of Muji! I was kinda tired though, so was happy to just sit down at the café and chill. After raving about how we finally found the noodles, just in time too as we fly out the next day, we decided that maybe, what we had bought was not enough. Just 4 cartons?! So the husband made a decision to go back and get more. I accompanied him and this is when I had my second encounter with instant noodles - the first being here as I nearly killed someone with flying cup noodles).

Not my best moment.... photo credit: the cruel husband

Besides being shamed, I was not hurt otherwise - ha! We then made our way back to the hotel to drop our cartons before heading out for dinner. Just as we were leaving the café, we had a mini episode where we nearly lost the boy. After some mild moments of near-panic, we were reunited and everyone was safe again. Phew! (The sister wrote an account here.)


We ran through the list of things we had eaten and decided that it was time to have some BBQ beef. Not before we (1) continued to add to our beer tally (2) made a decision to go to Isetan (because in Japan) and (3) we were not that hungry yet anyway as we had a bite at the Muji café.

The B caught in action chugging down beer. TSK.

The men figuring out navigation

The rest, just... hanging (our value-add was keeping the kids
distracted so they did not destroy the men hard at work)



SHINJUKU TRAIN STATION (that's what it reads in the light glare area)

We made it to Isetan (yay) but it was closing in 30 minutes (boo). We split up to make moving about more convenient, and so the parents went off in one direction... and turns out the sister and her busband were telepathic with us as we met each other a very short while later at the food area. HAHA #eatingourwaythrough indeed.


I know it was pre-dinner, but it was just so glorious to be able to walk around and eat as happily as can be. We had donuts, some tasters and the sister was so sweet she was already in the Q to buy a strawberry shortcake as I wanted to go get one to fulfill that craving!

Mmmmm.

We ate a lot more snacks, and we discovered that we were not allowed to eat in the food zone (go figure). We met up with the parents and then headed out to the streets to locate our dinner. We ended up walking up and down a bit because we had no plan, but the final destination turned out to be ok, we had beef and bbq and beers and we all walked out smelling like our dinner.


We took the train back to the hotel and started the task of needing to pack - groans. That did not stop us from our nightly gathering (without the sister who was sick) where the B briefed us on the next day's plan.

My view from the bed.

Fruits of our labour - tasting the Michelin-noodles!

It has been such an amazing week and I was quite tired by this time. I think we really maximized our days fully from day to night to late-night as we conducted our own parties. We also steadily kept to our beer count and made really good progress!


As I attempted to pack a bit that night, I definitely felt happy and very full - in my tummy and heart #happyfamilyinjapan