Whirring

Another side effect of being ill, besides the physical discomfort (I’m now down to cloggy windpipe and the blardy ball in my throat still won’t budge), is that I sleep poorly. It’s probably (definitely) linked to work stress, but I generally feel too alert at 11pm when I should be all ready to go down (because I end work later and my brain cells are still too blardy active!), and I toss and turn in the night (each time being annoyed by the ball in throat) and when the (arghh!) alarm goes off, I wince and feel like crap.

It’s been like that all week, and not at all better despite me popping meds that are supposed to help my muscles “relax”. (Do these muscle relaxants ever work for anyone, I wonder?! What a farce. Never works for me.)

During those moments pre-sleep, I feel bored. I login to Facebook (necessary evil), I look at sleeping Kate. I stare at the ceiling. I am actually able to feel bored because the husband is not around. It’s quite odd, yet comforting, these silent moments. And with the avalanche of preggo friends and babies that are all around me, I cannot help but think back and chuckle at the horrors and the pains, the fatigue and the lessons learnt, and all the joyous moments that I experienced when I was pregnant and the initial months with Kate. She’s 1 week shy of turning 21 months. Where’s the time gone?

My brain fills with events past and present – I need to fix Kate’s leaky nose, I cannot believe she is so big already, I’m happy that the husband is coming back home today, I’m looking forward to Barney on Saturday, I need to do xxx for work, why is the floor so dusty, why did the radio player breakdown suddenly?, I need to lose weight, I cannot exercise till next week when my body is up to it, I need to pass my bestie the food warmer, I want to kiss Kate, I’m so glad it’s Friday, I love Kate, oh I better tackle xxxx at work tomorrow….

Don’t make much sense?! I know. Sometimes I think I’m mad. I think too much. Hah!

It’s Friday today and it’s filled with good stuff!

The husband is coming home tonight. I get 2 full days tomorrow and Sunday to be with my babies. I just gotta be focused and do what I gotta do at work today. Oh and I get a free lunch later.

COME ON LET'S DO IT ALREADY! *clenches one fist with determination