Two plus two: Kate @ school

So, Kate has been going to school for 6 weeks now. Ok, 5, taking into account the one week she was on MC. I'd shared how much of a struggle it's been (here and here) after an initially great start.

While she doesn't exactly embrace school (yet), her reaction to going varies & by now, there's a more distinctive pattern observed.

It's worst on Mondays: "I! Don't! Want! To! Go! To! School!" She will cry & whine the moment she wakes up after knowing that she has to go. She will struggle while putting on her uniform, in-between her breakfast, while putting on her shoes, in the car and the whole way to school all the way to the point of me handing her over to her preferred lao shi. We try to bribe her with treats like biscuits or raisins and while it's terrible, it does help cos she will quieten for however-long that she is distracted. The moments that she stops crying does wonders for my sanity and I can literally feel that tense knob in my head hold still and not throb for those moments.

[This is exactly how I want to behave on Mondays (and some other days too) actually. But I guess I don't get the privilege since I'm not a child. Bleah.]

On Tuesdays, she cries and whines similar to Monday, though there are breaks and moments of quiet in-between. It worsens as we get nearer to school as she recognises the surroundings and resists heading into the school. I have to resort to carrying her and her barang in a bid to get us moving on time.

Today is Wednesday. She still cries and whines but intermittently so between the morning routine (of changing & breakfast). She is also able to tell me coherently little nuggets of random information such as "I have friends"/ "Casey never go to school, you know" / "I don't have chop already" (chop is this ink stamp that they receive on their hands as a reward; usually comes in the form of star or flower or some animal) / "After I eat I want to watch hi5 ok?" (ok, I feel abit guilty of this but in a bid to calm and distract her I do let her watch youtube!).

My princess, this morning. She was happy because her mood is generally better mid-week and she's popping raisins!

The bane of our unhappiness is Kate's unhappiness so when she's in a good mood, everyone's happy too. And from the start, I've been leaning on friends and the husband for support, seeking comfort that it's the initial teething stages of pain and that it.will.pass. I really needed to believe that with blind faith because I was really, really close to emotional breakdown from the stress! The husband and I also knew that we needed to give Kate time to climatise to this new routine. She doesn't get 'weekends' or 'holidays'. She doesn't know time or days. So as part of the climatisation period, we also had to teach Kate about days and her routine needed to be broken down into blocks of a whole week. Mondays - Fridays = school (her response to that is "why?!); Saturday go nai nai's house and Sunday go ah ma's house. This is her new routine now and I'm so relieved and happy (for everyone's sake) that she's slowly but surely getting used to it all.

Of course, it doesn't mean that we don't have down days (where she just chucks a tantrum), but hey. We are much better today than we were a couple of weeks ago where I was seriously that close to breakdown. I'm so proud that the husband and I are so grown-up (while we know we have no other choice, it's still great that we stuck it out!) and most of all, I'm proud of my girl for being strong enough to ride through the (thunderous) waves.

Her sleep pattern is much better now, though she still has nights that she wakes up asking for me, but at least she doesn't have nightmares anymore. Another huge relief is also that while she's not 100% well (there's always a niggling cough or cold or phlegm stuck within) she isn't feverish and sick-sick anymore. YAY! *throws confetti

Kate still suffers from separation anxiety which is clear from her usual parting words to me "Wait for Mommy/Papa/Yeye to come?"and I always have to assure her a million times "Yes, you wait for Mommy/Papa/Yeye to come fetch you". It's consoling to know that once I leave, no matter how weepy she was, she usually bounces back to normal very quickly (says the teacher). It'll take time, but she has to learn that she will not be left behind. Gotta build up her confidence and security somehow. More love! There are also days where she breaks down when we pick her from school - you know, that feeling of relief/happiness to see a familiar face. This tells me that she's not 100% comfortable in school yet (also evident how she keeps saying she doesn't want to do certain things in school - sleep/naptime and showers are not her cuppa tea) and she's relieved to see one of us.

I feel so sayang that Kate has to go through all these, but I also know that I cannot be there with and for her 100% of the time. In spirit, I can be, I will always love and support and be there for her; but she has to go through the ride on her own, to learn independence. I guess this is what parenting is about. Tough!

To end off, here are some pics of Kate at school