Two plus two: A dedication to my Mom

My Mom has always played an important, if not the most important, role in my life. She was the disciplinarian, as well as the main caregiver. As I sit here, seeking inspiration to write about my Mother, I dig into the archives of my 33-year-old brain and one of the earliest memories I have is of her being my driver. I remember her always shuttling me about from one place to another – from school, to music class, to computer class, to art lesson, to the library, to swimming class… even as I type this, I'm aware of how fortunate I am. Especially now that I have children of my own, I truly understand the costs involved in raising a child and for me to be able to enjoy all the lessons that Mom enrolled me for before, I know that she really gave all that she could; and shuttling me around from points A to B to Z isn't exactly the most enjoyable task, especially when it is on top of her regular day-job (Mom's always been a FTWM) - I really understand that she did (more than) her best and I'm humbled. I am amazed (as always) by Mom's strength, sacrifices made and courage to raise her kids up and groomed us to the beings that my siblings and I are today.

From a provider, Mom morphed to a disciplinarian as I grew up. When the smart-aleck-know-it-all-wannabe in me became more prominent, so did Mom and her iron fist. In retrospect, I know I deserved every bit of that hard-fistedness because oh boy, was I a trying teenager. I cringe thinking back of how truly incorrigible I was and I do feel awful putting Mom through the heartaches which I caused. Then as I hit my 20s, our relationship shifted again – and I daresay that it's been pretty much uphill since. My mom became my BFF and while I wouldn't go as far to say that I confided in her on everything, our relationship soared through communication as Mom played the friend-role. I went away to study for three years and during those years apart from Mom, did I also start to appreciate her more. I had to learn independence and it was then that I realised how much she does for me – from providing my meals to cleaning up after me *sheepish. In the past ten years of my life, I hope I had done Mom proud as I progressed in my career, finally giving her less heartache when I managed to find a man who would marry me. And in the past four years, I think my true understanding and appreciation of Mom was amplified a million times as I was promoted to a Mother myself. When I went through my pregnancy and was ill, she was there for me, sympathising and caring for me. I remember there were occasions where I felt so ill yet hungry (awful all-day sickness in the first trimester for both pregnancies) and she'd materialise with food that immediately made my mouth water that I could stomach. How on earth did she know what my body was able to tolerate?

From a full-time Mom, Mom was also promoted to a full-time Mom-and-Grandmother – somehow, while keeping up with working full-time, looking after her household and three of us children and a son-in-law (and my sibling's partners), Mom also manages to project love and care to her grandchildren – nothing's stopping this superwoman! I do not exaggerate when I say that Mom showers us with unconditional love, with no complaints at all. In the past years, I begin to see a more vulnerable side of Mom as she went through several ailments that comes with, shall we say, regular wear and tear of our human body. It's sobering as I realise that mortality is reality and I wanna do more for my Mom, the pillar of my strength, the key influencer in my life.

So as I finish this tribute to her, I say from the bottom of my heart, "You are all that I ask for, and you know me better than I do myself at times. I really can only try my best to do for my kids what you have done for me. Thank you for everything, I love you Mom."