Tough love

As Kate continues to develop beautifully, the package comes with some pain. Literally, as she trips over her feet – like she just did yesterday (getting used to her longer legs, maybe? Or possibly just clumsy) - or as she throws tantrums and we punish her. While we try our best not to resort to corporal punishment too often in our household, the husband and I do dish out the spanks as and when we deem fit. I know this sounds rather awful, but we don't own a cane (I know I grew up with more than one cane/feather duster in my time) and mostly we smack hands or spank butts. We also think that a little bit of pain to enforce a point (usually after we have tried reasoning or a million other methods that fail) doesn't hurt (hah. bad pun.)

So yesterday night, Kate threw a spat. 

She simply did. not. want. to. go brush her teeth or sleep and preferred to watch TV (we had already allowed her 20 minutes and this was an extended viewing from the original 10 minutes) and she cried and wailed. The husband could not tolerate this unreasonable behaviour because we had given her ample notice; in this case, I had set up the pre-bedtime routine before TV time - "K, you'll have to go wash up after watching TV ok?"to which she said, "ok", during TV time - "K, another 5 more minutes ok?" Again another "ok", and at the point of task - "K, time's up already." - she acted up.

It's tiresome because we do try to be patient but in this case, despite our best attempts, she still decided to act like a spoilt child. 

The husband happened to be the disciplinarian in this instance (I must admit – I am a wimp and while I do my fair share of punishment and yelling, I very much prefer not to because it's too emotionally draining and it's rather unpleasant, isn't it.). He pulled out the works – put her in naughty corner, spanking her hands… It was a tiresome 15 minutes later that Kate calmed down to execute the tasks. We resumed putting her to bed, with extra TLC from both of us as we knew that she's feeling all soppy. 

An hour+ later, after K had fallen asleep, the husband crept into the room where I laid with her and whispered to me, "My heart felt so painful when I hit her. 好心痛。" 

No one ever says that parenting is a piece of cake, but it's truly tough when our raw emotions are laid out too, right beside the whimpering little child who needs to learn. And it really is painful when we witness sadness in our child; it ain't easy. But at least the husband and I have each other, where we can release our pent up frustration at how difficult and tricky it is to be a parent and do the right thing.

Tough love.