Dealing with it all

Our lives have been busy.

I've been trying to find words to describe what we're going through and I'm finding it tough because I don't want to sound like a whinger (though I am whinging). The days whizz by and I'm taking things one step at a time because I cannot deal with too much more. Thinking too much gives me heartburn and my breathing becomes constricted (though that's been happening more with the heavy pregnancy which is only getting heavier). The husband and I have to work as one, now, more than ever before.

My key source of stress is really Kate and her moods - she's so unhappy going to school that I get very sad. Kate's temperament has been erratic, to say the least. For some reason, she rejects naptime and it's translated to her being resistent to sleep at bedtime too (translates to a tough time for the husband and I at home); her sleep is affected - she wakes up in the night sobbing with frustration. Kate cries at the mention of going to school; and she throws tantrums - all of which are very frustrating and trying especially given that she is either deaf to what we tell her (whether we speak nicely or otherwise) or she whimpers very poor-thing-ly "wait for Papa/Mommy/yeye/nainai to fetch me?" repeatedly. The stress I face in the mornings when I have to get both of us out of the house punctually and in decent form (dressed, with no underwear hanging off my clothes!) is indescribable. Her moods, tantrums & behaviour impacts everyone around her because it's so painful having to tend to an upset child throwing a tantrum.

I know what I have to do and I'm trying to do it - being emotional does not help anything at all. But it's still not easy. I've sent out some SOS sms-es to friends & family and received words of consolation and encouragement. But dammit - it's not easy!

I've since written a note to the teacher and flagged some issues that the husband and I are concerned about and as I was at lunch, I received this from the teacher:

"She is lying down by herself happily drinking milk. She is fine in school. Don't worry."

I was so happy! & relieved! I'm thankful of this update and I guess it is true that the girl is merely fussing because of separation anxiety; but she is functioning perfectly well (phew, relief!). There has been that little niggling thought at the back of my mind that there really is something going on that is upsetting her and I've been so worried.

It'd take time for a routine to kick in with us being in our new home and her starting school; the CNY holidays & her being on MC for a week doesn't help the adjustments at all. It's tough but we're tougher. We will ride through it.

We have to.