Fight

There was a fight in our household that just ended minutes ago after an hour. No, it wasn't between the husband and I; nor was it any in-laws horror stories. The fight started between Kate and I, and spilt over to the husband. Yes, you read me right. We fought with Kate.

It started as she was resisting sleep and was up to her usual antics of playing with the curtains, singing, talking & rolling on and off the bed. After an hour, I got fed up because it was 11pm(!) & she still showed no signs of wanting to sleep despite yawning and obviously feeling tired. I gave up cajoling her and announced "Mama is going to sleep now, good night Kate."

She didn't like that I was ignoring her; she didn't like it one bit at all - combine that with an ill & sleep-cranky baby, the fight erupted. She was very angry and was crying very hard. The husband had to carry her to calm her down, to no avail. The stubborn child still refused to sleep and instead, started to demand being carried to the MIL. She knows that the MIL will not scold her. After half hour of non-stop furious & intense crying, Kate showed no signs of letting up. It was a battle of patience (ours) versus stubbornness.

She refused for me to carry her, obviously upset with me. The husband asked her to apologize to me for behaving so poorly and her response was certain - No. She was single-mindedly fierce on wanting her way of going to her grandmom. I'm glad that the husband and I had the same intentions of not allowing her so - it's teaching her a wrong concept if we'd given in to her demands, simply because she was crying hard. After a while, it was clear that Kate was hysterical and behaving very poorly, driven by sheer fatigue & derision. Sickeningly, I totally understand the state she was in because I have lost myself in such intense hysterism before.

The crying was severely grating and while we were aware of how upset she was, we couldn't give in to her. After the hour, I managed to find a topic that distracted her enough, so she (finally) stopped crying. We also quickly took the opportunity to coax her to bed. That was no longer a feat since she was so exhausted; she knocked out within 5 minutes.

By now, I'm tired too , beyond the physical aspect. I'm traumatized by how insistent, stubborn, clever and strong the character of my daughter is. How can a not-even two-year-old child be this extreme in her behaviour, clearly triggered because of her emotional disgruntlement with her Mother? I am amazed.

Dear Kate, please learn to control your emotions. It is unhealthy to wallow so much, so hard when you are unhappy. You cannot bear grudges against us, because no matter what, we are your parents and we want what's best for you. Tonight, we really wanted you to go to sleep because you had to, it was so late already; and you were not feeling well & tired anyway! We love you no matter what, so don't take it so personally when we don't let you have your way. We may scold you, discipline you, tell you off... No matter what, we will never stop loving you.

Love, your mommy whose heart is aching because I know you are going to wake up with a rotten sore throat tomorrow